Chapter 1

   IN front of a large -Strange- school, a 17 years old boy is standing-his messy black hair covering his eyes, he seems to be peacefully lone boy-

 “Hey, watch out Kid” another boy bumped into him

“sorry, sorry”

  (Riiiiiiiiing, ring) the school bell..

The boy marched to the headmaster’s office

“Hello, Kid-kun. Welcome to our school. Let me ask you one question before we start ? you know what kind of institution is it ?”

From his messy hair hiding his eyes, The headmaster couldn’t see the boy’s face except his dump smile, the boy nodded foolishly

“Where is your father..  Parents?”

 The boy gave him his file

“It’s said: they are missing and you was raised by your uncle.

So, where is he ?”

“Business trip”

“... your grades are good, your skills aren’t so bad, we will work on that”

“Hai (okay)” the boy said naively

“One last thing,... be strong”

 

 Inside a class, the teacher waved to the boy

“Com’n, introduce yourself”

“My name is Kid Ichiro, everyone call me Kid, nice to meet you”

“Okay Kid, you can sit there by Lucy”

 The boy tripped while walking to his desk, everyone laughed as he stood up smiling with his set-dump face and sat in his place while other students continued their laughs

 The teacher started

“As you all now, you got accepted in (high dragon academia); as you are the best, we just accepted 90 applicants as they are qualified....

Here we makes warriors, professionals, martial artists.

We will make you better and use you to our own good to win wars against others,

Okay let’s begin our lesson....”

After the first period,

“Hi, I’m Lucy” the nice blonde girl waved to the new guy next to her

“Hi Lucy” Kid answered funnily  

“Where are you from?”

“Dunno”

“..Where are your parents?”

“Dead”

“Sorry”

“Don’t be” he kept answering bluntly

... The boy and the girl became friendlier

 By the fifth period Kid was sleeping down on his desk.

A good looking-long blond haired-man entered

“Good afternoon everyone”

“Stand, bow” The class rep. Lead the class

 The man started telling a story about a spy who was like a legend to the others.

“There was a resourceful spy called Zeno. Zeno was more than talented. He could do what others couldn’t. He became a legend in our world but he became very full of himself, Too deluded to work with others or listen to orders and On one mission he got caught”

“So what do you learn from this story....Ichiro-kun”

Lucy called him “Kid, wake up”

The boy woke up to see the blonde man in front of him

“!!... sorry sensei”

“Lucy, what do you learn from it?"

“Never disobey orders & no matter how strong you are, do not let your guard down”

“Right Lucy, And Ichiro-kun, you can leave next time if you found my class is boring”

“Sensei, that legendary Zeno I heard this story before but what happened to him?!” Lucy asked

“Death -my child- is the end of arrogance”

 

  After the school, Lucy in a big limo waving to the boy

“Kid, you want a lift?”

“no thanks...that sensei...?!”

“Kimura sensei is very tough but don’t worry he is a nice man. I really know him”

“bye”

“Bye. Don’t nap again, Hhhh” she waved to him as she left

“Hhhh” Kid kept his childish smile on his face... then

 HE stood in front of the gate looking at the school... muttering to himself

“I wasn’t sleeping Kimura sensei or you Lucy Bashemon & I was just bored from hearing the same story over and over........

  That Zeno wasn’t caught, he was betrayed by his friends who were afraid of him cuz he was shining more than them

He became a monster, glowing better than them. so they sell him out

When he was caught...”

<[  Long ago,  In a dark Wide room with Flashy White Torch directed to a prisoner in custody

“Hello r. Zeno, do you know where are you?” A rough yet sly voice called

“I...who?!...I was on a trip to France” the prisoner stuttered  

“You’re imprisoned at the underground confederal British prison for spies”

“.. Ha.. Why .. ?? You must be mistaken”

“You are the legendary Zeno, You should know better”

The man stood-walking by Zeno then continued

“Don’t worry we won’t kill you, we will return you to your country just right after you admit that you are Zeno & give me some infos I wanna know , then they’ll dispose of you as you are a burnt card” he said with sly grin at the corner of his face

“I don’t understand... What are you talking about?! ... I .. am not a spy and... I am not that Zeno...”

“Take him” the man shouted to his 2 officers

They took the man for 2 weeks and tortured him for a confession

Till he requested to see the chief of prison

“What do you want?” The chief asked

The short haired man said in tiresome “My...my mother was a poor lonely woman,... she was dying for my food, for my education, for my everything”

“Where do you wanna go with this?”

“I have to thank my mother that sacrificed her everything for me”

“I really don’t know why your companions sold you out but.....

 “So let’s have a deal” Zeno said seriously

“What !!” the man startled

“Use me, I can make you destroy My Agency or rule the world”

The man stopped for a sec then a big evil grin rose on his face “OKAY, lets test what you offer, can you send these false instructions back to your unit”

Zeno read the instructions and sent it -Old days they used to send info. By telegram ,  Zeno intentionally sent the information with high speed that made him make some errors, That was in real a secret code to one of his comrades to come & save him-, later they took him back to his cell but on the way, he swiftly defeated both of the officers and ran away he could escape from this facility but after he got hurt badly. He was waiting for his butler that didn’t betray him, while he was waiting he found a baby was left to death behind the trash in a small box

  When his butler came, Zeno waved “get the boy”

The boy was raised by Zeno and the butler for a sole reason:

Revenge.  he was trained each and every day till he became the second ZENO and following his master’s orders ]>

Author's Note

How was it as first chapter? Feel free to review

Reviews

[Vera Anne Wolf]

I can tell English isn't your first language so I won't drill into that, what I will comment on are suggestions to smooth out the read, or fill in missing information.

"He, watch out kid!" - does not need to be capitalized.
"Sorry, sorry." - Should be in its own sentence since a new person is speaking.
"Hello, Kid-kun," kinda reminds me of an Asian name, but the 'Kid' part is a bit too generic imo.
"Welcome to our school" - Why not give the school a name? Also, perfect part of the dialogue for the Headmaster to give his name. ex. "Hello, Kid-kun. I am (name). Welcome to (school name). I have just one question before you start class. How familiar are you with this schools background?" - again, just suggestions

The other noticeable hold up is the shifting point of view.
"He seems to be a peacefully lone(ly) boy" - whose perspective is this from?
"The headmaster couldn't see the boy's face except for his (dumb?) smile" - This seems to be the headmaster's point-of-view. I would suggest sticking to the Main Character's perspective. What he sees, hears, thinks, experiences, etc.

Plot-wise: I'm intrigued by the dialogue. Especially the headmaster's speech about "staying strong".
"Here we make warriors professionals,..." you don't need to break this dialogue up. It should be one solid paragraph.

"to win wars against (others)" -? I feel like a vital bite of the plot is missing here. What conflict would have students being raids as warriors instead of traditional scholars?

"Where are you from?" "Dunno" - okay, why wouldn't he know where he's from? Was he raised in a lab? Suffering from Amnesia? If he’s trying to be evasive he could just name a generic city. Feels like you haven’t really thought out his backstory too much.

Interesting that the unnamed teacher would bring up the story of a spy. Makes me wonder if that's what they're training some of these kids to be.

Interesting twist that Kid-Kun was pretending to sleep. Makes me think there might be a connection between him and the assassin the teacher was talking about. Where could he have heard the story before? Are other schools like the one he's attending now?

I'm not sure I buy into the idea of Zeno being released so easily. Also, the ending was super rushed compared to the opening. Zeno sending the instructions, being taken to his cell, being freed, escaping, being picked up by his 'butler' of all things, and then finding some random baby left to die in some trash...way too rushed.

I did enjoy seeing the dots connect by the end of this. Confirming my early guess that Kid was related to Zeno. Intriguing story just needs to be paced out a bit. I would have started the story from Zeno's point of view, after being betrayed, but that's just me.

[A.Tarek]

That was long and constructive. Thank you very much.. you made me smile.
I know editting wasn't that good. I'm not good with that, I hope you continue reviewing more. I'll try to improve
Ah, yeah.. If I would recommend you one of my stories, It would be a flutter to remember
I just had good time writing it

[Vera Anne Wolf]

Sure, I'll give it a look after I've had a chance to update my next chapter :)