The first time you really fall in love,
'' The lyrics arises from your love,
the music is from your heartbeat
the voice is from your heart''
And at that moment, you'll hear your heart sing....
I have a book, written in gold, words of passion and words of trust Read and see, the future unfolds It's all about love, which will never rust
Heavenly words, your heart can fly, lost in dreams, high in the sky no more sadness, tears will dry Deep and true, your heart will sing
Many a times, we went through troubles, a hundred times we fired at each other Never mind, they were all like bubbles, which bump up in water and blast one another
You are the lamp, my only light No matter what happens, our future is bright It's for you my honey, I will fight Strength and courage, your heart will sing
Dawn or dusk you stayed with me, tears in your eyes, let them free I'm always there, when you want to see, the baby of the gem, you'll always be
Our feet together, they'll never think to part Our hands together and that will be forever I'm the little gem, that lights your heart Tough and strong, your heart will sing
Thousands of thoughts, flock in my mind I want to get lost and be alone with you The deep you look, the more you'll find stars of dreams, I'll make them true
Love is a dream, for a wedding ring Love is a bond, I'd call it a link Feel the joy, the seasons bring Trust and faith, your heart will sing
I loved the tag line to this Ashi - just lovely.
And the reptition of 'your heart will sing' drives home the message (even if it slightly affects the flow, for me) - some gorgeous phrases and the love is abundant throughout - great sentiments
Please forgive me having only just read this. It is a wonderful gem of a poem, as beautiful as its sentiment and lasting as its subject. Excellent work.
Very beautiful sentiments and well versed...I can tell the words flow from your heart. Good work!
You might look at the following lines as substitutes... the usage was unclear at these spots, nothing major and maybe you have your own way to reword them since these are only suggestions:
hundreds if times, or a hundred times; blast one another; and be alone with you; the deeper you look;
Again, nice job! I hope to read more of your work...
Posted 10 Years Ago
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
10 Years Ago
Sure sir, I'll reword them right now. Thank you sir for showing those errors
A very honest declaration of love. I really appreciated the way you explained what love meant and how it unfolded for you. It is extremely lively even young love. all this binded by rhyme that skipped and bounced.
About me.... I'm still 17. i love to write.. i thought of joining this website because i want to know how I am. I'm working on a poetry book and hope to publish it in here but before that i thought o.. more..