The Last Tear

A note from the past, when I was kinda depressed. Woah. I had forgotten what that felt like...

 

Sitting alone in a secluded place, waiting for the normal, endless chugging of life to begin again, knowing that was unlikely. Seems so long since you ripped me open, exposing all my fears, secrets, dreams; everything I’ve kept locked up in the darkest corner of my mind, safe from the world. Now the thoughts are spilling out over the ground like blood after a massacre, and I don’t even bother to try and stop the tears from flowing. I know no one can hear me cry here, no one but you. You somehow manage to sneak up in my mind, no matter how hard I try to keep you out. Now I don’t even bother to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, scattered all over the floor like a jigsaw puzzle you destroyed as easily as kicking a balloon. For you knew that I was completely in your power, I hung on to your every word like it was a sip of pure life. “I laid my heart and soul right in your hands, you stole my every dream, and you crushed my plans.” Not even a song of pure grief can stem the tears that pour from my eyes onto the hard, cold floor of my shadowed hiding place. However hard I try to leash my mind from coming close to the thought of you, I still get that burning, longing feeling, even though I now know who you really are. So now I look at the floor and see my whole life shattered around me: my hopes, dashed; my fears, exposed; my dreams, shattered; my heart, irrevocably disintegrated. There is only one thing left to complete my sorrows, and to end my pain. I slide out the gun I keep with me constantly now, since I started skipping school, put the cold, unfeeling steel barrel to my bleeding heart. My last thought was one of sarcastic triumph: “Nothing left to destroy now, is there?” as I pull the trigger.