To Be Continued

Not finished, but sit down because it is still fairly long.

I held the stars once,
they twinkled with my heartbeat,
huddled into the palm of my hand,
and shining starlight through my fingertips.
They passed no judgement upon my face,
but I was entranced by the ribbons of the moon,
the light reflected a beautiful silhouette,
but was hiding behind it's shadow.
It was a darkness that I could not see,
and even if I'd seen,
I wouldn't have believed,
how much the moon only cast chloramine.
And I drank each moment,
seconds became minutes,
minutes became hours,
and a decade seemed like an eternity.
When I looked for that familiar twinkle,
I discovered an absence where the stars once were
But the moon still hung in it's canvas,
shining away the darkness in the night sky.
Yet the moon did not make me wonder,
it did not feel quite the same,
my daydreams slowly began to die,
fading each night until my hands began to crumble.
I searched for years,
the footprints of a lost soul,
followed my every desperate glance
at everything that shone for a moment's chance.
I cried tears that reflected the flaws on my face,
and I begged until my voice gave way,
even while loosing faith- I whispered and prayed
whispers which became rants and misplaced rage.
It was at the threshold of surrender,
and the beginning of a new strength,
determination slowly returned as commonplace,
and as new stars came to me- I pushed each one away.
Never again would I feel that way.
But I awoke one night to a twinkle,
I had forgotten not to smile,
and as the freckles tugged on my cheek,
I swatted, but my vain attempts were meek.
Whenever I thought that star was gone,
it returned and babbled about anyway,
and all at once, it landed upon my shoulder,
whispering tales in each solemn's night dream. 
When it became too close to my heart,
I shoved it far away, fervent to save my soul from pain,
until several nights of late, when I finally refused to be afraid,
The fever broke, and I allowed that star to remain.