The Shudder

Eh... the light escapes me again.

My heart is... breaking

you'd think it would have stopped by now

the taste of red copper

still lingers in my mouth

and these sins against myself

why can't I just let go

the scars have never closed

forgiveness never comes

it's hanging on the tip of my own tongue.

I would have never imagined myself here 

Writhing in all this unending pain and fear.

swallowed in this blackest of holes

could break the strongest... soul

they say hope is never lost

but at what broken, beaten, trembling cost?

Arms folded, slouching over myself

shaking

breaking

and feeling so cold

completely alone

And maybe I deserve to be

here in this abyss... of me