Words (A Dedication)

This is one I wrote as a freshman in high school...when I realized that I was counting on my poetry as a companion...a very reliable one...

you are what i leave out

when letting off public steam from smooth trains

you are what stays in the back of my throat

when asked to "tell" what this life is like

you are what i use to explain

what my mouth can or will not speak or retain

you are what sleeps in my sky with the moon

(my nightlight while searching, sleeping in the dark)

you are why my dreams are wonderful and wild

you pick the light from the sun and hold it at a short mile

you are what sweeps my states of of confusion

and temporary sadness to smog

you are what i need to keep tucked in my pockets

when the devil sneaks up as my shallow

you are what helps me pick up the very stubborn stones in my way

so that i will eventually get by and play

you are the motivation and satisfaction

that will hopefully, one day, allow me

to stand and shake loose my armor

to let go a long, overdue sigh.

 

-Anarda Nashai

author of School Girl

Check out my website at:

www.anardanashai.webs.com!

Reviews

[April Child]

Lovely piece and sentiment. My only small suggestion is that the 'you are' becomes slightly repetitive. You could continue the lines from the first 'you are' without losing anything I think. Hence...

you are what i leave out
when letting off public steam from smooth trains
what stays in the back of my throat
when asked to "tell" what this life is like
what i use to explain
what my mouth can or will not speak or retain
what sleeps in my sky with the moon
(my nightlight while searching, sleeping in the dark)

etc... Just my thought :)

[Jo Todd]

I like this. I write poetry, but it's usually very reactionary. You sound like you write much better than I do.

[mysticgmekeepr]

Have you shaken loose your armor yet?
This is very nice. The best of companions, I'd say.

[dilettante1890]

I love the first few lines---nice hook, good work!

[Shondell]

wow...this is so expressive...good job :)

[Christopher Marlowe]

A wonderful and descriptive piece that has incredible variety and a plethora of directions in which it travels. Excellent job, Anarda!

[Alford G. Harris]

I liked your description of poetry... Most writers will relate, and it is quite impressive that you wrote this as a freshman in high school... I now wonder if you'd do a part 2 to this at some point... Kudos... Peace & Regards