love for a straight friend

A Story by AMillionDreams

this short story is about a teen boy named mike who discovers that he has feelings for his straight bestfriend , Jude.

It was 5:50pm, the sun had just begun its deep sleep for the night, tired of the world's chaos for one day. The evening wind washed over my skin, leaving aggressive goosebumps that felt as if they were burning my bare legs.
“Cold, cold, cold” I whispered with a shaky breath, as I tiptoed to my queen-sized bed. I dived onto the blanket covered mattress, like I was an Olympic diver or something, you could call me Chantelle Newberry with such an athletic diving technique. I smothered my freezing body with all the blankets i could, almost unable to breathe from the slight suffocation. I started to warm up until my ears were disrupted with a quiet dinging sound. A large sigh left my chapped lips as I slowly unwrapped myself from my cocoon. I cautiously waddled to my phone which was unfortunately on the other end of my room. I studied the device and saw a single notification from my favorite person, Jude. The message read “mike, come over before I die from boredom”. My once cold, sour face was now replaced with a goofy grin. I tapped away at my phone, letting Jude know that I'll be there in a couple minutes.

I stumbled across my wooden floors that creaked with every step I made. I grabbed a couple outfits and neatly placed them into a Sequin covered school bag that I stole from my sister. I continued to fill the bag with all the necessary products, like a comb, toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant. Once I was ready, I walked from my room... and then quickly went back in to grab my watermelon flavored Chapstick. Sadly, the cold was always cruel on my sensitive lips.

My mum kindly drove me to Jude's house, even though it was only around the corner. Even so, she couldn't let her favorite child freeze to death, who else would save her and my two sisters from the terrifying... speck sized spiders.
“Pick you up tomorrow” she softly hummed with a gentle smile on her face. “Bye, love you” I replied while the wind closed the car door for me.

I sprinted to the front door and softly knocked, even though I really wanted to pound on it until somebody saved me from the agonizing cold. I waited a couple more seconds until another gush of wind from the door opening freezes my core, and I was greeted by a warm looking Jude. So warm that I envied him for it. I pretty much jumped inside, desperate to be warm. “c-cold” I stuttered, which Jude must have thought was humorous because there was a cheeky smirk smothered on his face. He closed the door which forced a sigh of relief to escape from my mouth. Jude and I made our way to his room... or rubbish dump, I'll help him clean it later. I carefully walked through the maze of trash, making sure not to trip and break a leg or something. “here” Jude said and threw his hoodie at my face, “thanks” I beamed and quickly threw the jumper over myself. Nice and warm.

Like a stack of dominos, I fell onto Jude’s bed, feeling like I somehow reached the fluffiest clouds that heaven could offer. “Move over” Jude muttered while nudging my shoulder slightly. “Hm, no” I said with an innocent smile on my face, which caused his eyebrow to arch at my response. Without an argument or a warning, Jude pounces on top of me, grips his arms around my shoulders and rolls me over onto the other side of his bed while still attached to me. “Get off of me” I muffled protests while my face was pressed against a pillow, throwing karate chops at Jude. In response to my self-defense, Jude ruffled my hair with his knuckles and let go. I finally gasped for air, desperate to let oxygen pass through my tired lungs. “you’re a jerk” I panted, and Jude fell on top of me and braised me into a hug “oh, you know you love me” Jude said smugly and tightened his grip.

That's when my mind wandered off and brought me to the thought that I often find myself thinking about. How much do I love Jude. I love Jude like a friend... a best friend... more than that... well I don’t know. Do I love Jude more than a friend? No... Yes... No... yes. Oh god, I love my straight best friend.

A strange feeling wrapped itself around my heart, a tight feeling. The feeling was unbearable, it felt as if someone was pulling at my heart, attempting to rip it clean from my aorta. I had now become fully aware of the giant teddy bear that was pressed against my rib cage, also known as Jude. Without another thought, my body automatically jolted forward, which caused Jude to lifelessly fall off me, onto the other side of the bed. My hands slightly shook, and my spit was now impossible to swallow.
“You alright, mike?” Jude asked with a small amount of concern, “y-yeah” I stuttered. I grabbed my phone and asked my mum to pick me up. “i just remembered that I uh- have a science thing due on Monday and I'm really stressed about it so... I'm going to go home and finish it” I stumbled on my words with an awkward smile, hoping he wouldn’t realize that I'm lying. Jude gave me a frown and nodded his head “okay, is your mum picking you up?” he asked, and I nodded in response. We sat on our phones until I got a message from my mum, letting me know she’s outside. “Mums here, see Ya” I mumbled, “bye-bye” Jude replied as I walked away.

I entered my mum's bright red car and we drove home. Once we were home, I realized that I was still wearing Jude’s hoodie. I groaned with the realization, but I left it on anyways. I shuffled to my room, not even wanting to eat. I lay down on my bed, which I found a lot more comfortable before I went to Jude's. I don’t really know what to do, am I overacting? No... OfCourse I'm not, I love Jude like Jude loves girls. While I was in deep thought, I fell into a deep sleep.

The rest of the dreadfully slow weekend went by, without any contact with Jude. We usually text every day so there were a lot of unopened messages from him. I didn’t like ignoring him but I'm hoping that my feelings will die with distance. It was now Monday, and I had to face him. I arrived at school and unfortunately Jude was waiting for me at the front gates like every other day. He stood there looking so flawless in his school uniform, I wonder if he was aware of his charm. My body froze once I was aware of his presence. Quickly I jogged the other direction, hoping to god that he hadn't spotted me.

The rest of the day went equally as slow as the weekend, which is weird because it always goes so quick when I'm with Jude. Fortunately, Jude and I don’t have any classes together on Mondays. But unfortunately, that didn’t stop him from talking to me.
“Why are you ignoring me?” Jude’s words caused me to slightly jump. “i- I’m not” I lied, avoiding any type of eye contact. “don’t lie to me” Jude scolded with a sour look on his face. My head swung up to look at him, confused with his tone. Jude never talks to me like this. “Why are you ignoring me?” he repeated but with a softer tone in his voice. I kept quiet, I couldn’t reply because if I did, I'd say something stupid. “Mike” my name was softly mumbled from Jude’s lips. I finally gave up and ended up staring into his dark brown eyes, unable to ignore my Jude any longer. “I love you” I whispered just loud enough for him to hear me. I was expecting his expression to turn to disgust, but he just stared at me blankly. “Like you love girls” I added, making sure he understood what I was trying to say. His face changed but disgust wasn’t his expression, it was more confusion. We stood in complete silence for a couple seconds until I was grabbed into a bear hug. Huh? I'm so confused. “it’s okay” Jude comforted me.

Okay? It's, okay? Is it okay because he feels the same? Does he love me too? Confusion washed over me. “it’s normal to feel this way about your close friends at least once” he mumbled in my shoulder.

So, he feels the same way? Huh?

Jude released me and stared at me with a comforting smile, “i still see you as a brother” he said proudly. Oh... My heart felt as if someone had bashed it repeatedly. I wanted to cry, to run away but I knew that I didn’t want to avoid Jude anymore, so I put on a fake face. I gave him a convincing smile, “good” I replied and hugged him again.