Forbidden is this touch

Forbidden is this touch

A Poem by AMacabreDream

I can feel my mind go astray,
as I think of those words so pleasant.
My feelings are wasting away,
as I remember words coursing with hurt.

A memory I'm reminded of everyday,
in anguish and yet in harmony.
My sins out on display,
to remind me of an unknown love.

In a fit of passion,
we touched two sacred bodies.
And in that uncontrolled position,
our eyes and naked skin revealed all.

A love not yet forsaken but forbidden,
between two young lovers.
A love blatant and yet unspoken,
through a bite, a touch, a hug, and a kiss.

© 2008 AMacabreDream


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Reviews

Ah, forbidden love. We always want what we can't have.

Well-written and very emotional. Nice work! :)

Posted 15 Years Ago


It's a great write! Your feelings were wonderfully conveyed in your words, and you drew the menatal image of the emotions well! Keep up the good writes!

Posted 15 Years Ago


Overall, it was good and I enjoyed reading it :)

However, you could fix a couple things about it
1. The rhythm and tone would be better if you didn't use contractions
2. Is the 2nd and 4th line of each stanza not supposed to rhyme? If not, that's cool, I just haven't heard of that particular format of poetry and it kind of confuses me

Don't get me wrong, this is not a bad poem in anyway, you just need to edit it to make it even better!
Nice work :)

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on December 3, 2008

Author

AMacabreDream
AMacabreDream

In a unimportant city in an impersonal world



About
I live in Maine. I love to read and write. I am currently in high school(Senior) and I am hopelessly obsessed with vampires, werewolves, and the unknown in general. My boyfriend is Jesse-OH YAH....my .. more..

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