Journal 1

This is my first journal and I hope that no one will judge what I say because these are my personal thoughts and feelings.

Today was one of those days where I had to drag myself out of bed. Recently, I haven't been getting much sleep; a max of four hours per night. Still I must get up in the morning and go to school, which is the number one thing I dread right now. Seeing everyone makes me wish that I was happy and content with my life, but I just wasn't. I had lost my best friend, my boyfriend, and my friend's mom all in one weekend. The first two incidents weren't even my fault, they were just selfish choices they made. The third is just a part of life, but she was kind to me and she was a fantastic person. I want to handle it well, I want to enjoy the simple things in my life like I did over the summer, but I just can't. Don't get me wrong, I try. I try extremely hard to make it through the day. However, when I get home I am so withdrawn that I don't eat or interact with my family; I just sleep. None of them seem to notice either way. Unless, of course, it's them asking something of me. What am I to do? I have no one to turn to, no one to trust. Half the time I don't even trust myself and that's hard to live with. I know many people would say I'm just being a teenager, but I just don't know anymore. I sure hope that's it, because right  now my life is like dominos. One thing goes wrong and it's caused a chain reaction. When will it stop?