Perception

The air was filled with the deafening sound of gun fire and rockets.  The weight of my pack and gun making my sprint into less than a jog.  I made my way slowly through the rough terrain, covered closely by my team.  As we made our way forward we were soon engaged with the enemy, outnumbered eleven to one.  We crouched low taking cover behind a long wall, each of us taking different intervals to shoot towards the enemy.  It wasn't until Caleb was taken out by a shot to the head that we began pressing forward.

            We split up into all directions each with a different duty.  I led the charge drawing the fire, along with me was Aaron as Caleb and Toddy covered us from behind.  The fire fight was dangerous and grueling as I managed to dodge the rounds that flew by all around me; the sound of something hitting the ground near by my feet.  Looking down i quickly jumped out of the way as the grenades blew up around me causing my vision to go blurry and my ears to ring, yet still I pressed forward my racing heart guiding me.

            I screamed as I ran forward, my team covering me flawlessly from behind.  We a small band of rebels fought, battling a mighty monster; Should our mission be one of success we all would go into the history books.  My eyes were clear and my aim true, pulled forward by my racing heart and the team at my heels.  As I looked around to check on my team, I saw Arron taken out by a sniper, a group on the side forcing my attention away from my friend to save my own life.  Taking my grief out on the attacking soldiers I shot around carelessly and wastefully taking out everyone around me. 

            I threw my gun away to pick up one from the enemy and once again began pressing forward.  The sound of a gun nearly two feet away made me turn to see Aaron who took out another soldier trying to catch me from behind.   We had no idea how long this figt had been going on for but my limbs were getting tired, my fingers and thumbs sore and aching.  Just as all seemed hopeless the large ear muffling sound of a helicopter filled the air, accompanied by the sound of machine gun creating a new sound.  Victory was assured to us now as I screamed and ran forward, my team and I taking out the rest of the straggling soldiers who desperately retreated for safety. Unmercifully we cleared the area of all opposing soldiers.

"Tommy, it's time for dinner!" a voice called from far away.

"Guys I gotta go to dinner, see you guys at school tomorrow."

 

Reviews

[Tbear]

Well done!!!! Start to finish! You had me going! Oh what a mighty imagination..I was going to suggest finding a different wording for 'my racing heart' and 'taking out' since they are repeated multiple times..i think for a child, i am guessing this is a child, they might use my thumping heart? pounding heart? I enjoyed this very much..write on..

[A.M Leone]

Thank you so very much, i appreciate it. i dont know if you have read any of the others but i would appreciate any input you have.

[Tbear]

Am happy to oblige.. if they are very long it could take me some days to crit.. I will usually end up doing far more than one for one..am enjoying the works found here very much ...