Hero

A man who lives his entire life unknowingly in a prison of his own making, the most unlikely of people possessing the key.

 

 

Hero

 

 

“Give me anything on you of value, and if I were you I would do it as quickly as possible.” A voice from the shadows commanded, a bone chilling click following immediately.

 

            Gripped with fear my hands nervously and unsteadily undid the leather band on his watch before I moved to empty my pockets.  I threw everything including my wallet and phone on the floor in front of me.  Everything inside me told me to scream and shout for help, the rational part on the other hand revealing the truth.  No one’s gonna come to help me, put their neck on the line for a complete stranger.

 

“You’re not moving as fast as I am sure you could be. Do you not actually value your life?” The man said, the arrogance in his tone giving off a vibe that he had already decided my fate.

 

            Fate, a funny word that has hundreds of meanings all varying around the people who use it.  Right now, as I stand here, throwing the rest of my valuables to the floor; Hearing people walk past the alley where I'm sure some had seen what I was going through.  My fate was what this man held in his hands.  On his whim, he could choose my fate; to live or to die.  It wasn't until he was sure that I had given him everything- Including my shoes. -  that he spoke again.

 

“Thank you very much for your kindness and generosity, now back slowly out of the alley and go home, you look tired.  Oh, and don't worry about your wallet, I get it back to you soon.”  His voice menacing and full of double meanings.

 

            I followed his orders despite my knees trembling uncontrollably; when I was clear of the alley and several feet to the side I collapsed against the wall of a building.  In shame, I held my head low whimpering into my hands as people walked around and over me.  The occasional nice person would throw me money, which again I shame fully collected.  I had no idea how long I had sat there, but when I did finally get up my legs were stiff, the muscles sore like I just ran ten miles.  I took a deep breath before limping my way home.

 

            Without enough money for a cab, I was forced to limp my way home in a walk of shame. For several miles, I limped slowly, each step a reminder of my shame.  Was it my fate to live powerless while others extorted this weakness.  Stupid Hollywood, glamorizing the man who takes on the criminal while putting down the ninety percent of the people who lack the training and the courage to stand up against fear and lethal weaponry.

 

            When I finally reached my apartment, I sighed in relief before limping my way up several flights of stairs.  It was an odd feeling that I was left with as I made my way up the stairs; Almost redeeming.  I unlocked the door to my apartment shutting the door behind me.  I threw my keys into the bowl on the table next to the door, before I took off and hung up my jacket.  To feel completely helpless is an experience that can do nothing but change you.  It does this in one of three ways.  The first is it can make you more fearful, turn you into a shut in or neurotic.  The second is it makes you accept and begin a training to help change you into someone you want to be.  The third is like denial.  You seek out fights to prove your no longer fearful but in actuality you are simply running from those fears. 

 

            Hero's are forged from the second, but there is a difference between movies and real life.  In a movie if you don't dodge the blank someone says cut.  In life, the consequences are a little bit more permanent.  I turned on the T.V. as I collapsed onto the couch with a groan.  My eyes no longer bothering to stay open, soon sleeping through whatever hero movie was playing.  As I slept I had a tortuous repeating dream, reliving the horror over and over.  Each time with an alternate ending with a flashing light then nothingness.  Each end had me waking up drenched in sweat and my hands trembling, though less with each occurrence.

 

            I woke again angry as I heaved myself off the couch, the muscles in my legs sore and almost unbearable to move.  Each step anger rose within, a feeling never to be felt again.  I punched the wall as I made my way to my kitchen needing a drink of water before heading to my bedroom to actually sleep.

 

            With all the movies and shows that are being created and released to the world made me believe that we were living in an age of hero's.  That people might learn from the message and transform into someone who would stand for someone weaker then themselves.  To make the everyday man into one of character and compassion.  Optimism and delusion keeps us moving forward in the world.  The thought that a cop or a person might stand and help us when we need it.  This is what the movies show us; the ideal people, a facade.  The truth is no one is coming to save us, or risk their own lives without personal gain.

 

            It was with this realization that I awoke the next morning.  I took several minutes to stretch before I rolled out of the bed and onto the floor in a push up position.  Beginning a new morning routine, I began doing push-ups, a routine I hadn't done since high school.  I began struggling at about six or seven, my determination pushing me to fifteen before I collapsed; rolling on my back to begin doing my sit-ups.  I wasn't outrageously out of shape.  I was tall, thin and sometimes awkward and -unrealized until last night-  weak.

 

            I managed to get up to twenty-five before the muscles in my abs ached to stop and forced me to stop.  I got to my feet and made my way to the kitchen to eat.

 

            I got to work late this morning- having to buy a new pair of shoes- my boss sitting in my chair as he watched me enter the office.  He took a sip of his coffee before he put it down on top of the files on my desk.  As I walked towards him I heard him address me.

 

“So, you could imagine my surprise when I got to my office on time, to review the Tames account, and surprise my most punctual account adviser is nowhere to be seen, boy do I hope you have a good explanation.”  Calvin Hail, the floor manager who dressed and acted above his paygrade. 

 

            He rose from my seat as he waited for my explanation, smoothening out the wrinkle-less material of his dull grey suit.

 

“I had to buy a new pair of shoes, I'm sorry.” I said as I heard snickering and laughter coming from around us.  I watched as the anger visibly rose through his expression.

 

“You have ten minutes to get me the Tames account or you can take the rest of the day off as well as every day that follows.” he snapped as he turned around and quickly walked off towards his office. 

 

I sighed and laughed a little before hearing someone approach me from behind.

“How often are you late?”  he asked. A face with glasses that I had never seen before -more than likely a new batch of employees- asked as I reached down and picked up the 'lost' Tames file.

 

“This is my first time ever being late.” I said laughing darkly as I began my walk towards his office.

 

            As humiliating as it might have been to walk to the boss's office like he was the principle, but oddly I was elated.  I had always feared being yelled at or chastised, afraid that my boss would fire me if I made any waves or splashes...  I watched as co-workers flowed in and out and grow within the company while I sat stagnant.  In the same department at the same desk since I was eighteen. Those less punctual and not even close to being as hard working as me acknowledged while for a decade I sat and watched happy for them. 

 

            For too long I had sat at my desk complacent in my own life, not even actually living.  Should I ever meet that man who robbed me again, I would probably thank him for freeing me from my own life.  I knocked on Calvin's door; I knocked before entering, only to see him sitting in his desk chair rocking restlessly.  I entered the office calmly- A way I had never imagined that I would have entered after getting screamed at.

 

“So, I have to know, were you trying to make me look bad?  You know that I depend on you to set the bar for others.   You know be the model employee.  Your example guides everyone who enters this floor.”  he paused for a moment to exhale as his rocking slowed.  “Do you have the file for the Tames account?” 

 

            His fingers began tapping against the arm rest as he waited for the account to be put on his desk.  I placed the file folder on his desk as I watched him.  His focus was no longer on him but on the giant coffee ring in the center.  His face contorted in anger as he rose to his feet and slammed his hands hard on his desk.

 

“This file has to be presented to the chief officer of this floor, yet you expect me to present it with your morning coffee all over it.” Calvin said, each word getting louder and angrier.

 

            I waited till he was done before I responded; Ignoring his tirade wondering why this wasn’t bothering me as much as I had thought that it would be.

 

“Actually Mr. Hail, that is your coffee stain not mine.  I don't actually drink coffee.  When you sat at my desk this morning and put your cup of coffee on the top of my files you left the stain .  I can make you a new folder if you'd like.”  I tried desperately not to let a smile break through the facade of indifference. 

 

            I watched as Calvin shrank back and sat back in his chair, suppressing the rage I knew he'd be feeling.  This sight was almost enough to crack through my clumsily created facade.  When he spoke again his voice was soft and dull.

 

“Please, if it's not too much trouble could you make me another folder cover for me then?  I'm gonna need the Thomson folder next by lunch.” He said as he stacked the files on his desk.

 

“It's already done, I can go get it to you with the new folder cover.” I said as I turned to leave the office, shutting the door behind me.

            The sound of something blunt hit the door just after I closed it making me smile and chuckle as I walked elatedly back to my desk.  As I sat back in my chair, I was filled with an emotion that I hadn't recognized.  One that I hadn't felt in a long time- Not since I took this job a decade ago. -  Pride.  I printed a new label for the Thomson account and stuck it in the center of the folder. Grabbing the other file I slowly made my way back to Calvin's office, knocking only as a courtesy I entered.  I placed the folders on his desk before turning around to leave. 

 

            As I started walking to the office door I saw the plug for a broken sharpener behind the door.  A smirk crossed my face. 

 

“Thank you for being quick with the folder.  How about you take one of those sick days that I’m always paying you for.?”  Calvin said, his voice controlled as he spoke.

 

            I thought for a moment, the direction that the day was turning was something that I couldn't have expected.  I figured why not, since I’m doing everything else different today I might as well continue with this decision.

 

“Thank you very much sir, I think I will.”  I said before turning and walking out of the office.  The last thing I saw was a smirk on his face, that I saw only a few times.  Shrugging it off I made my way back to my desk.

 

            I grabbed my jacket as I passed my desks and made my way to the elevators and in no time I was outside.  At first glance I saw nothing but white light, but soon I saw everything, all while bathing in the bright warm light of the sun.  On a normal day, I was at work just as the sun rose and left just as the sun set.  Weekends I stood home catching up on work or watching T.V.   As beautiful as the city was at night it was even more so in the day.  I began walking, though where my legs were taking me I did not know. 

 

            Hours flew by like minutes as I walked around rediscovering the city I called home with new eyes. The sun soon setting over the horizon, reflections in the buildings windows extending the sun set.  Too soon it was time for me to make my way home.  Despite the sounds of horns and cars blaring through the city another sound soon caught my ear. As I passed an alley on my right I saw a scene similar to my own last night.

 

            I went into the alley following after the whimpering voice of a young woman shaking in fear at the sight of the same mugger that freed me.  This time I saw the man clearly, his face scarred up.  His eyes a cold dead blue and calculating, his build big and strong with a tanned complexion. A gun in his hand aimed at the terrified woman's heart.

 

“Stop” I shouted hoping someone might here as I ran to stand in front of the woman, taking her place in front of the man.

 

A chuckle erupted from him as he watched me. His eyes filling slightly with life as he smiled down at me.

 

“Didn’t I rob you yesterday?” he asked rhetorically. “Yes, that's right, I promised you I would get you back your wallet and I.D.” he laughed as he fished trough his pockets and pulled out my wallet.  “Mr. Casey Carrow. A truly brave soul.” his tone seemed to be only half mocking me. As he threw my wallet down in front of me.

 

The sky now darkened wept a mist of rain.  A fitting end to such perfect day.  I felt the woman behind me almost convulsing in fear. She was a very brave woman.

 

“Just leave us and no one would get hurt or arrested.” I said as I held my hands up defensively. 

 

“You are a very interesting person Casey, but how about this.  I kill you, rob her and then I will leave.”  He said as he clicked back the hammer.

 

            I only had a few seconds to think and react and I knew in an instant what to do.  I yelled at her to run as I pushed her back before turning to the man and charging him.  With all the strength, I could muster I punched the man in the face.  I’d never hit someone before so I wasn't prepared for the pain of possible breaking my hand or a knuckle or two.

 

“Nice punch there, mister hero but now let me show you why heroes only belong in the movies...” He said as he held up the gun, the last sound I heard was the sound of an ear-splitting bang.

 

            My hand moved to where warm life bled out, falling to my knees first then onto my back.  The shooter gone hiding back in the shadows.  The sound of a gunshot, the only thing that would draw a person to a scene.  Always too late to lend a hand, but the first to offer condolences.    As the crowd began to form the only person next to me the woman who I had saved, crying as she leaned over me. 

 

            It was hard to look at her, she had a warm light glowing around her, the warmth that was quickly draining from me was found in abundance in her.  I tried hard to focus through my suffocating body to speak, unable to get anything more than words.

 

“Live...” with those words my consciousness faded away.

 

            I watched as the man in front of me- the man who risked and traded his life for my own. For a stranger died in front of me.  His only request that I live.  I couldn't do anything but cry as the rain began to pour as the sound of sirens grew closer.