Devil Woman

I wrote this at a time when my mother and I were majorly at odds with each other.

 Rear your anguished head, Devil-Woman,

For the city you have burned is your own.

The Apocalypse comes, and I leave you now

As the fires of Hell burn on.

 

I shall be amongst seraphims,

Their Heavenly songs of love envelop me in their warmth.

 

Stop, you manipulative creature of Hell

You have no power here

My mind is set on my own salvation

Yours is on my damnation.

Reviews

[Das Muffin]

To everyone, yes my mother and I are definitely better =]

[.mate.feed.kill.repeat.]

Well, it reminds me of my brother's (soon-to-be ex-) girlfriend. Poetry usually doesn't make me think a lot about my life outside of myself, so it was a bit of a change to read one that does.

I like the style that this was written in. I especially liked the last two lines.

As far as the mechanics go, the rhythm, flow, and style were all interesting and pleasing to my mind. This piece was easy for me to get into and read, and it didn't bore me at all. You word choice was excellent. I like to read poetry that has a good sense of vocabulary; this piece was stunning. I've only ever seen the word "seraphim" used once before--as a name in "From the Corner of His Eye" by Dean Koontz.

I'd also like to comment on your use of emotion in this piece. I think the thing that helped the emotion most was the word choice. The anger and hatred in this piece are simply stunning. It was like getting hit in the face with a wall of fire and then being thrown into a hail storm.

The shortness worked really well for you. I like the stanza/line pattern--4:2:4.

Nice job.

[Rogue Daffodil]

This is very powerful, I can feel the anger and conviction radiating from these words. I remember times like these, when my own mother was a frustrated thorn in my side. I truly hope things have changed for the better between the two of you. Cherish your mother for as long as you have her. She won't be here forever. ::hugs::

By the way, thank you so much for your words on my story 'Forever'. It is one of my favorites, and I'm always pleased when someone new finds and enjoys it.


~Rogue Daffodil~

[Legion]

OUCH! That is harsh. And well penned. Hope you two are getting along better now (if you don't mind the smell of sulfur I suppose). Good write.

[Not Afraid of Bruises]

hmmmm...defiantly sounds VERY familiar... :) thanks for sharing

[Vatsayayana]

~smile~ Mothers and daughters, isn't that but the way of things?

"My mind is set on my own salvation
Yours is on my damnation."

I particularly find an affinity with this line. You've made me remember certain aspects of my own childhood. I always found that writing, regardless of a story or a poem, was not just meant to tell a tale. It was a way of putting emotion, a raw undefinable substance, into word... voice. Not only has your prose pulled forth a gut reaction from me, I find myself smiling sadly and nodding my head in agreement.

I like the way your words flow. For me personally, they have a stilted affect, but that's because I myself am projecting feeling at the words. I can't help but stop and stare at a sentence and remember some of my own stories on growing up.

Very well done.
Brava!

[T. R. Writer]

Very poetic. I love the way it flows. You definitely have a way with words and are a true poet.