Chapter 1 The Beginning

This is where it all started, how it began

I remember when the government fell, and when the war started. I also remember a happier time. A time to raise children, create memories, and live, free from worry. This was back before everyone was special. Everyone could live peacefully when there were only a few. The year was 3894 when the discovery was made. 

Doctor Hank D. Specials was given all the credit but, a single man couldn't have created something so awful. I barely remember the newscasts but, what I do clearly remember was my parents' reactions. They would cry through the night and wish that my generation didn't have to face such a terrible fate. 

Some thoughts stand out more vividly than others. "Get ready it's starting!" My Mom called from the other room. The TV special announcement was almost about to start. The government would inform the civilians of the new discovery. 

The words the anchorman said would haunt me for the rest of my life. "The government is going to start human testing on Monday July 14th! Our nation will soon have the strongest army in the entire world! We will never have to worry about security again! How incredible is that?!" Just like the anchorman, most other people were excited about the new experiment as well. Doctor S had finally figured out how to make everyone "special". 

Over the years peoples' genetics mutated giving them extraordinary gifts. Some were as simple as they could not age and others could move cities. Most specials weren't that dangerous. Every decade or so there would be a story of how one would act out and rob a bank or attack some innocent people. They weren't a huge threat because it was a few of them against the entire force of the Army. If the Government used this technology for good then we could all live in a better, safer world. 

At first, everything went well. He was Agent A and he was the first injected with the serum. The "power" they first created was invincibility. The government wanted to test the subject and had him do all sorts of daring stunts. The first televised stunt was Agent A jumping off a ten story building. Everyone was in awe when he got right back up even after everyone watched his legs crack when he hit the ground. He stood up and raised his arms "This is the beginning of a new era!" 

Everyone cheered. If only the people knew. If only they realized how corrupt the Government was. A few years passed and almost everyone in the Army was special. Randomly, soldiers would drop dead, even if there ability was eternal life. After the first batch of soldiers were killed off Doctor S had come up with a theory. A scientific guess if nothing else. He announced on national television that the reason why the "specials" were dying off was because they were injected with the drug when they were too old. Formula S was too strong and the normal human body would reject the new changes. He finally came to the conclusion that at the age of 12 the human body is going through so many changes that it would accept the formula. This was broadcasted when I was 9.

A year later my brother turned 12. The government mailed every 12 year old kid a vile so that it would be at the family's house on the morning of their birthday. If a family wanted to pick the "power" they were given then the parents would have to mail the government $1,000,000. At this price the 12 year old kid can have any power they want besides a few abilities that were too powerful and were only available to families close to the government. I personally have never encountered the forbidden powers. One of the most dangerous in my mind are "Gatherers". Back then, they were just known as another code but now, during the war we know their full potential. These specials are class 10, the best rating of the entire scale. My brother and I were only rated fours when we first got our abilities. "Gatherers" have the ability to use any power around them. Some who have trained enough may have a radius a mile wide. Many Gatherers have limitations such as, they need to know the name of the person they are using the power of or, at least what the power is. Since there are so many people with powers these days one can see why this can become a problem. 

Another ability that I barely understand is the mind miragers. Some masters of the mind have figured out how to reach this strength but many have just been given this devilish power. Not many have lived to tell the tail of seeing one of these warriors. People say that smoke comes out of their hands and if one inhale it the tricks begin. The person under the spell isn't able to control their own emotions. Now this doesn't sound that bad but the way I had it explained to me was that the person realizes they are under the spell then, they feel the opposite emotion. which would be thinking that nothing is actually wrong with them. After this the person may feel that they are being paranoid and then realize that they are in danger. Then they realize they need to fight the danger and becomes very anger and feels as though they need to kill everything around them which will soon change into empathy with everything around them. So its told, this is all happening so quickly that the person under the ability cannot figure out what is happening. There is only one person I have heard of that made it through the mind mirage and he, cannot form full sentences or control his actions anymore. The worst part of it all, is that the brain can't take all the stress it's put on and will eventually explode, killing the victim, all while the user is standing by. 

The government should have never given these skills to anyone and now, they use it for evil against the rebellion. It seemed as though the government was helping the people by not letting some random untrustworthy kid end up with a power not even meant for a God but in the end, they were only saving it for themselves, for their own personal army. 

Since we weren't a wealthy family my brother just got a random power. My parents read the box carefully to make sure that there were no intense side effects to his formula even though the government would force him to take it. The writing on the side of the vile said "Formula S.38940714" My brother, Jack, read the box carefully so he would know just exactly what would happen to him after my mom injected him. 

"Jack, would you like help reading it?" My Mom asked 

"He's fine Linda, this is his day. Can't you see he's excited?" My dad said. He was always into the idea of Specials because he studied them in college and worked as a SR, a Specials Rater. This means that he would run various tests on Specials and give them a rating. Every county had one. Every Special had to be rated by ten SR's and then an average was taken. If they were given a rating above an 8 then they would have to go through a special test done by the government and would have to preform in front of Doctor Specials. Back in that time it was a great honor. These days I wish I could see him face to face... Each rating was broken down into a decimal as well. Technically I'm a 4.86 something but everyone went by the whole number. 

"I'm fine mom really!" Exclaimed Jack. "Have you ever wanted to fly a kite but, the wind wasn't blowing in the right direction? Well we have a gift for you! The government has presented you with the power to create and control the winds! Others who have been given this power are, well just a bunch of people who I don't know."

My dad's face lit up. "Does it have a guess at what your rating is?" 

"Its right here" Jack said "People who have been granted this ability in the pasted have been rated anywhere from 3.0311 to 6.0725. With a little bit of training maybe you, Jack Conway, could rate even higher!" The government acted like they knew what his name was, like they cared about the fate of the little 12 year old boy they had tarnished forever

"Let me see!" I yelled 

"No Austin it's my present! You can't touch it" He was always so cruel to me.

"Mom, Dad can I take the formula now?! Please?!" Jack whined. 

"Fine Jack, just calm down" Our father said in a loving tone. 

"Do you feel any different?" I asked 

"Of course not!" Jack said back "You don't feel anything until the day after everyone knows that!" 

"I... I know! I was testing you!" We never got along. Some things never change. 

 Day by day Jack got better at wielding his ability. I remember the first time he was ever scolded for using his powers. He picked me up a little over four feet high and my mom lost it. I thought it was the most impressive thing I had ever seen. Now a days, he could tear an entire building apart. A little more impressive than lifting a 90 pound ten year old. I started to envy Jack because of his power. All I talked about was him as I waited for my 12th birthday.

After two years the day finally came, June 5th. I ran outside right after I woke up and opened the box and stuck the needle in my arm before even reading what power I had gotten. I tried to find the paper that came with my vile but, it was too ripped to read after my frantic opening. 

"You have got to be kidding me!" My mother yelled. She thought I was probably going to die even though back in those day, The Government did have good intentions and wouldn't give any kid a life threatening power.

The only other thing I remember is passing out that night and waking up very early the next morning feeling extremely sick "Jesus Christ!" My mother exclaimed 'He's burning up! Jeremy call an Ambulance!" 

My father walked in and all he said was "Don't worry Linda, it's natural."

Author's Note

I tried to fix most of the grammatical and spelling errors but please let me know when i miss something! Hopefully you guys are enjoying the new chapters!

Reviews

[JGIII]

Like most have said, this is a good concept. Because it's a concept that has been explored previously, be careful to emphasize the story, elements that make the characters easy to identify with so your readers empathize with them. First person is a natural style for you but I caution against making it too conversational. As one of my professors once told me, "Trust and distrust your instincts." Keep writing it's good.
I'm not going to beat the grammar issue to death. The one thing I would caution against is trusting MS Word too much. Some of your spelling errors involve the use of homonyms.
Other things that jumped out: If a family wanted to pick the "power"- why is power in quotes?
Now a days - consider using now instead. More professional.
"Have you ever wanted to fly a kite but, the wind wasn't blowing in the right direction? Well we have a gift for you! The government has presented you with the power to create and control the winds! Others who have been given this power are, well just a bunch of people who I don't know." Here you should indicate that Jack was reading from the box label.

[Kenaz]

Line 6 and 3rd to last paragraph_capitalize i. Sounds interesting, nice job.

[Mary]

very good writing. Like you said alot of grammer mistakes to me that stuffs secondary. I loved " a time to raise children " a nice little string of words hung in just the right place.

[Shep]

Love the story and you have peeked my intrestest. Te one thing I would change is breaking up the paragraphs into smaller bits. Right now it is a sea of words, which makes it difficult to read without losing your place. Also the font size should be changed to 12pt at least. Love the idea of people having powers. Now let's see what you do with it.

[Hatchling]

Very interesting

[F.P. Chat]

Wow this reminded me of Xmen, kind of, and I love Xmen so Iiked it a lot.
I will try to read all the chapters you have published. I saw you have corrected wording but I noticed the: an terrible fate > a terrible fate.
Good job...I find it also very annoying to correct / edit but what can you do! :)

[Alex]

Thank you! i just need to learn to reread my writing before posting it and i hope you enjoy the rest!

[Kent Smotherman]

I really like the premise of this story. Your writing style is very natural to the reader, but it doesn't read quite smoothly enough. I think this is an issue of pacing primarily. Still, great promise in this. Please proofread more before posting, preferably write in a good word processor to catch simple spelling or grammar mistakes. below is my list of such corrections for this first chapter, but I don't think I'll be doing this level of detail editing for the remaining ones:

"parents reactions" -> "parents' reactions"

"I do remember one thing" -> You've already mentioned a few memories before this point, so this sentence needs to be fixed to reflect that.

"What does that mean you ask?" -> Be careful with your voice. First person is fine for a book, but as a rule I wouldn't suggest talking directly to the reader.

"peoples genetics" -> "peoples' genetics"

"news cast" -> "newscast"

"there ability" -> "their ability"

"$200,000" -> In the year 3894, that probably wouldn't be a lot of money. :)

"and he, cannot for full sentences" -> and he cannot form full sentences"

"ability in the pasted" -> "ability in the past"

"me and him never got along" -> Technically since this is in first person, you can leave this as it is. More properly, it should be "He and I never got along" :)

"most impressing thing" -> "most impressive thing"

A lot of "i" that should be "I"

"after i woke up opened" -> "after I woke up and opened"

"those day" -> "those days"

[Alex]

Yeah I know I have many errors. Instead of writing a chapter 6 I'll go back and proof read all my other chapters.

[Crifa]

Amazing. Can't wait to read more

[Alex]

Thank you! I'll make sure to send you a reading request! Suggest them to your friends too!

[Viper Phoenix]

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Viper-Phoenix/314480611915?ref=hl

[Alex]

thank you that means so much!