Chapter 1 The Beginning

Chapter 1 The Beginning

A Chapter by Alex
"

This is where it all started, how it began

"
I remember when the government fell, and when the war started. I also remember a happier time. A time to raise children, create memories, and live, free from worry. This was back before everyone was special. Everyone could live peacefully when there were only a few. The year was 3894 when the discovery was made. 
Doctor Hank D. Specials was given all the credit but, a single man couldn't have created something so awful. I barely remember the newscasts but, what I do clearly remember was my parents' reactions. They would cry through the night and wish that my generation didn't have to face such a terrible fate. 
Some thoughts stand out more vividly than others. "Get ready it's starting!" My Mom called from the other room. The TV special announcement was almost about to start. The government would inform the civilians of the new discovery. 
The words the anchorman said would haunt me for the rest of my life. "The government is going to start human testing on Monday July 14th! Our nation will soon have the strongest army in the entire world! We will never have to worry about security again! How incredible is that?!" Just like the anchorman, most other people were excited about the new experiment as well. Doctor S had finally figured out how to make everyone "special". 
Over the years peoples' genetics mutated giving them extraordinary gifts. Some were as simple as they could not age and others could move cities. Most specials weren't that dangerous. Every decade or so there would be a story of how one would act out and rob a bank or attack some innocent people. They weren't a huge threat because it was a few of them against the entire force of the Army. If the Government used this technology for good then we could all live in a better, safer world. 
At first, everything went well. He was Agent A and he was the first injected with the serum. The "power" they first created was invincibility. The government wanted to test the subject and had him do all sorts of daring stunts. The first televised stunt was Agent A jumping off a ten story building. Everyone was in awe when he got right back up even after everyone watched his legs crack when he hit the ground. He stood up and raised his arms "This is the beginning of a new era!" 
Everyone cheered. If only the people knew. If only they realized how corrupt the Government was. A few years passed and almost everyone in the Army was special. Randomly, soldiers would drop dead, even if there ability was eternal life. After the first batch of soldiers were killed off Doctor S had come up with a theory. A scientific guess if nothing else. He announced on national television that the reason why the "specials" were dying off was because they were injected with the drug when they were too old. Formula S was too strong and the normal human body would reject the new changes. He finally came to the conclusion that at the age of 12 the human body is going through so many changes that it would accept the formula. This was broadcasted when I was 9.
A year later my brother turned 12. The government mailed every 12 year old kid a vile so that it would be at the family's house on the morning of their birthday. If a family wanted to pick the "power" they were given then the parents would have to mail the government $1,000,000. At this price the 12 year old kid can have any power they want besides a few abilities that were too powerful and were only available to families close to the government. I personally have never encountered the forbidden powers. One of the most dangerous in my mind are "Gatherers". Back then, they were just known as another code but now, during the war we know their full potential. These specials are class 10, the best rating of the entire scale. My brother and I were only rated fours when we first got our abilities. "Gatherers" have the ability to use any power around them. Some who have trained enough may have a radius a mile wide. Many Gatherers have limitations such as, they need to know the name of the person they are using the power of or, at least what the power is. Since there are so many people with powers these days one can see why this can become a problem. 
Another ability that I barely understand is the mind miragers. Some masters of the mind have figured out how to reach this strength but many have just been given this devilish power. Not many have lived to tell the tail of seeing one of these warriors. People say that smoke comes out of their hands and if one inhale it the tricks begin. The person under the spell isn't able to control their own emotions. Now this doesn't sound that bad but the way I had it explained to me was that the person realizes they are under the spell then, they feel the opposite emotion. which would be thinking that nothing is actually wrong with them. After this the person may feel that they are being paranoid and then realize that they are in danger. Then they realize they need to fight the danger and becomes very anger and feels as though they need to kill everything around them which will soon change into empathy with everything around them. So its told, this is all happening so quickly that the person under the ability cannot figure out what is happening. There is only one person I have heard of that made it through the mind mirage and he, cannot form full sentences or control his actions anymore. The worst part of it all, is that the brain can't take all the stress it's put on and will eventually explode, killing the victim, all while the user is standing by. 
The government should have never given these skills to anyone and now, they use it for evil against the rebellion. It seemed as though the government was helping the people by not letting some random untrustworthy kid end up with a power not even meant for a God but in the end, they were only saving it for themselves, for their own personal army. 
Since we weren't a wealthy family my brother just got a random power. My parents read the box carefully to make sure that there were no intense side effects to his formula even though the government would force him to take it. The writing on the side of the vile said "Formula S.38940714" My brother, Jack, read the box carefully so he would know just exactly what would happen to him after my mom injected him. 
"Jack, would you like help reading it?" My Mom asked 
"He's fine Linda, this is his day. Can't you see he's excited?" My dad said. He was always into the idea of Specials because he studied them in college and worked as a SR, a Specials Rater. This means that he would run various tests on Specials and give them a rating. Every county had one. Every Special had to be rated by ten SR's and then an average was taken. If they were given a rating above an 8 then they would have to go through a special test done by the government and would have to preform in front of Doctor Specials. Back in that time it was a great honor. These days I wish I could see him face to face... Each rating was broken down into a decimal as well. Technically I'm a 4.86 something but everyone went by the whole number. 
"I'm fine mom really!" Exclaimed Jack. "Have you ever wanted to fly a kite but, the wind wasn't blowing in the right direction? Well we have a gift for you! The government has presented you with the power to create and control the winds! Others who have been given this power are, well just a bunch of people who I don't know."
My dad's face lit up. "Does it have a guess at what your rating is?" 
"Its right here" Jack said "People who have been granted this ability in the pasted have been rated anywhere from 3.0311 to 6.0725. With a little bit of training maybe you, Jack Conway, could rate even higher!" The government acted like they knew what his name was, like they cared about the fate of the little 12 year old boy they had tarnished forever
"Let me see!" I yelled 
"No Austin it's my present! You can't touch it" He was always so cruel to me.
"Mom, Dad can I take the formula now?! Please?!" Jack whined. 
"Fine Jack, just calm down" Our father said in a loving tone. 
"Do you feel any different?" I asked 
"Of course not!" Jack said back "You don't feel anything until the day after everyone knows that!" 
"I... I know! I was testing you!" We never got along. Some things never change. 
 Day by day Jack got better at wielding his ability. I remember the first time he was ever scolded for using his powers. He picked me up a little over four feet high and my mom lost it. I thought it was the most impressive thing I had ever seen. Now a days, he could tear an entire building apart. A little more impressive than lifting a 90 pound ten year old. I started to envy Jack because of his power. All I talked about was him as I waited for my 12th birthday.
After two years the day finally came, June 5th. I ran outside right after I woke up and opened the box and stuck the needle in my arm before even reading what power I had gotten. I tried to find the paper that came with my vile but, it was too ripped to read after my frantic opening. 
"You have got to be kidding me!" My mother yelled. She thought I was probably going to die even though back in those day, The Government did have good intentions and wouldn't give any kid a life threatening power.
The only other thing I remember is passing out that night and waking up very early the next morning feeling extremely sick "Jesus Christ!" My mother exclaimed 'He's burning up! Jeremy call an Ambulance!" 
My father walked in and all he said was "Don't worry Linda, it's natural."


© 2012 Alex


Author's Note

Alex
I tried to fix most of the grammatical and spelling errors but please let me know when i miss something! Hopefully you guys are enjoying the new chapters!

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Like most have said, this is a good concept. Because it's a concept that has been explored previously, be careful to emphasize the story, elements that make the characters easy to identify with so your readers empathize with them. First person is a natural style for you but I caution against making it too conversational. As one of my professors once told me, "Trust and distrust your instincts." Keep writing it's good.
I'm not going to beat the grammar issue to death. The one thing I would caution against is trusting MS Word too much. Some of your spelling errors involve the use of homonyms.
Other things that jumped out: If a family wanted to pick the "power"- why is power in quotes?
Now a days - consider using now instead. More professional.
"Have you ever wanted to fly a kite but, the wind wasn't blowing in the right direction? Well we have a gift for you! The government has presented you with the power to create and control the winds! Others who have been given this power are, well just a bunch of people who I don't know." Here you should indicate that Jack was reading from the box label.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I'm seriously interested.....I'm definitely reading more

Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

thanks I'm glad :) let me know what you think of the rest of it too!
C.C. Marx

12 Years Ago

thanks definitely request it
a couple i noticed,,wasn't looking for them,,,,tail...when you meant tale....and pasted instead of past. you got my attention with ,,the year was 3894!! i love science fiction..good basic story....i think the characters should be given more exposure themselves before so much information about the special powers....let us get acquainted with jack before his experience with the injection.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

Thank you i like when people post the actual mistakes because then i can go back and easily fix it h.. read more
This is pretty good, but I feel it necessary to say, you may want to add a bit to the initial explanation of the powers and such, it feels a bit like your putting facts in one after the other. Maybe you could interrupt them with something the character is doing while he thinks about it (this is just an example, and just my opinion). I think you've got an interesting concept with the rebellion mixed with the sort of superpowers and with some fine tuning it could be quite good. Sorry if that came across as harsh, I simply meant it for the furtherment of the work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

Thank you! and it didn't at all :) eventually i want to go back and change it its just sometimes I'm.. read more
Your writing is pretty strong. 'Dr. Mengele' was going through my head the ENTIRE time I read this. The concept is good, not completely unique but if you work hard, it has the potential to be brilliant.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

I don't know what Dr. Mengele is but i will have to google it sometime :) and thank you! hopefully y.. read more
That_Girl

12 Years Ago

Yeah, google him. Too much to explain at this hour lol

For sure!
Alex

12 Years Ago

understandable :)
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
K.G
this very interesting, it kind of remind me of the movie. . i beleive its called push. . .you should later on make an index or gloassary or something so we can see and go back to remind our selves what they are, i would also brush threw this again, there are some random bits that are jumbled every where. advice, dont forget the little details and make this somewhat realistic as possoble , like when the new anchor guy was talking, make it sound like it is a news anchor talking, not a foney cartoon chacater. This also would make a great comic too in my opinion

Posted 12 Years Ago


K.G

12 Years Ago

XD oh then u will like my short stories and like a third of my poems hahah, an its cool :3 an who kn.. read more
Alex

12 Years Ago

yeah maybe! :)
K.G

12 Years Ago

:3myeah ^.^ im very creative n good with ideas, so if u need help let me kno XD
I love this! It is a very good introduction... If I would have just picked this up from library and just read the first chapter, I would check it out for sure! I would probably have it finished within, 2 to 4 days, depending on my schedule.
Once again very good and I am excited to read more!
Starr M.


Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

Thank you it means so much :) hopefully the rest of the book so far will at least keep you busy for .. read more
Starr Mist

12 Years Ago

I hear you, neither do I. Well, I still have some studying for the PSAT to do, or I would. Writersca.. read more
Alex

12 Years Ago

Alright thank you :)
I sense a rebellion, and as always, I'm all for it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

Keep reading and you'll see :)
This is really good and very interesting! I can't wait to read the rest of it that you've posted!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

Thank you :) let me know what you think about the other chapters! ill be sure to post more soon!
AlwaysCasey

12 Years Ago

alrighty!
good chapter had me all the way enjoyed it will read on

Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

Thank you! please let me know what you like and don't like about the next chapters!
excellent story plot I look forward to more

Posted 12 Years Ago


Alex

12 Years Ago

Thank you I think I am going to begin writing another chapter to night and may very well finish it a.. read more

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1010 Views
23 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 9, 2012
Last Updated on September 27, 2012


Author

Alex
Alex

Writing
Before the Hit Before the Hit

A Chapter by Alex


The Hit The Hit

A Chapter by Alex



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


I am Wiccan I am Wiccan

A Poem by Elle M.