Fade Into You

A love story...of sorts.

"Maybe I'm amazed by the way I love you. Maybe I am too selfish to let you go."

I can't turn my head from her so I let my eyes fall to the dying embers in the fireplace. The room grows steadily cooler by the minute, the harsh March winding seeping inside, settling within my bones. She wishes for a response.

I choose to give her my silence instead.

"Maybe I should go with you."

My heart pounds at her words, although I know they are nothing more than that--simply words. Empty words. They shouldn't, but they excite me.

"How romantic", I want to say. "Let us go together." Still, I don't say anything. I can't say anything.

She grows angry, begins to pace; tugs at her hair as she always does when she is frustrated. "You lied to me. You promised me forever. Not a day. Not a week, Not a year. What you're giving me isn't forever. What you're giving me is bullshit!" she screams. Her chest is heaving, her eyes wild and lost and empty all at once.

But she won't let me see her cry. That’s her thing. She’s never let me see her cry.

A noise beside my bed interrupts her tirade. She moves from my line of sight to quiet the noisy machine.

"You little prick," she whispers vehemently. I hear to smack the noise-maker with her hand and then cry out softly in pain. She pushes my arm aside and flops onto the bed next to me.

I wish I could have felt her hand when she touched me. I wish I could touch her and hold her and kiss her.

I wish that I could lie to her and tell her that everything would be alright.

I caress her face with my eyes and I wonder who will be there to light the shadows across her face. I wonder who will be there to take my place in her heart.

I wish that I could hate her so that I wouldn't care.

"My heart is breaking," she says softly. Her head hangs down and her back is to me so that I can't see her face. "Maybe my heart is already broken."

She shivers, not noticing that nothing remains in the fireplace but cooling embers and dissipating smoke.

"You don't know me. You said that I could handle this but I'm not...I'm not strong enough to let you go."

She turns to me, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy, her cheeks shiny from salty tears.

She has never looked more beautiful.

"If you do this..."she stops, corrects herself."If you make me go through the rest of my life without you..."

A thousand moments pass between us as my lips slowly part. The words that slip out are an effort, but worthwhile nonetheless.

"I have never loved you more."

I am selfish. I cannot bear to watch her heart break. I cannot watch her struggle with the inevitability of my demise.

So I take her heart. And I take her love.

I close my eyes.

I let her go.

Reviews

[gcp]

Awwww this is dark & beautiful - a stab in the chest. Great writing.

"Maybe I should go with you."

I know that feeling all too well.

A few little minor tweaks perhaps:

move "she screams" up along the line of dialog - set the tone - then the words - I found I had to skim back and reassess.

drop 'vehemently' - you don't need it.

not sure I like 'she says softly' - I think you could phrase that better - given the high quality of your prose, it seems just a tiny bit lazy ;)


Brilliant writing - touching - and a good ending.

I find myself looking forward to your next piece ;)