He who cannot dance puts the blame on the floor ~ Hindu Proverb
In the kingdom of many boos
there once lived a danseuse
who just couldn’t dance
With her two twisted feet
So she hid her hooves
Hemming and hawing
at the drummer’s beat
Scared, that the public
would make her vamoose
she made up one after
another lame excuse
One day she’d say
the darn music was wrong
Another day she’d say
the wind was too damn strong
Some days she’d curse
the swinging stage door
Yet most often she blamed
the gleaming dance floor
This lady always had a ruse
Oh what an absolute goose
this oblique, obtuse danseuse
It's a clever proverb you lead into the poem with, as is the more common English proverb in your Author's note. It's a sad fact of life that there are many dancers who blame the floor for their own inadequacies. If they seriously bothered to learn and address their mistakes, instead of hiding behind them and blaming all and sundry, then perhaps they would become much better dancers instead of dragging along with two left feet. It's a smart poem, Pestonjee, and one which can be related to many facets of life in general. Exit stage left, perhaps? Original writing and well conveyed.
The rhyming is just absolutely great, I absolutely LOVE that aspect. And I love the way you refer to her feet as hooves! It really gives off the feeling of her tripping over her own feet. I see a lot of words used very smartly here that I don't normally see being used, and that makes it even better. It even sounds like a good idea for a full book or movie!
Wow! A full book! I'd love to do that. I did try to be as original as possible here and I am thrille.. read moreWow! A full book! I'd love to do that. I did try to be as original as possible here and I am thrilled you liked my effort. Thanks a ton Colacat! Welcome to my page!
4 Years Ago
It definitely is far more original than a lot that I've seen! I'm definitely subscribing (:
It might be unrelated, but it reminds me of someone who actually really couldn't dance. That's why I like poetry (among many other reasons): other people's words can trigger memories, and help us revisit, re-evaluate events in our life.
Ah!! witty you are but clever ..well depicted ..the person blaming everyone and everything but her .there is a hindi version of the proverb you have mentioned , which says 'naach na jane ,angan tedha'.and i think your work clearly depicts that .smartly written;)
Love, Ankita
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
That's where I lifted this idea from. In logon
ko kuch samajh mein aata hai. 😁 But You ca.. read moreThat's where I lifted this idea from. In logon
ko kuch samajh mein aata hai. 😁 But You caught me so now you're clever. Thank you Ankita. I hope I can learn writing some sonnets from you soon.
4 Years Ago
thought so .AH !! i am clever ..smirk* oh it will be my pleasure if u can pick anything of use from .. read morethought so .AH !! i am clever ..smirk* oh it will be my pleasure if u can pick anything of use from me ..
Love ,Ankita
4 Years Ago
Thanks. Just send me some tips if you learn anything new. That'd be really nice Ankita 😊
L.. read moreThanks. Just send me some tips if you learn anything new. That'd be really nice Ankita 😊
Love,
AJ
4 Years Ago
where do you live , i am missing it ..i thinnk .sure ! i will definitely share ..
I have to agree with your author's note, Pestonjee. Too many blame their inadequacies on other things to mask their own incompetence. And so it appears to be here in the theme of this poem. It is one thing to not be able to dance and accept that, its another thing entirely to fake it or blame others for your two left feet. Whoever it involves, well....two left feet always results in falls. Original work here, Pestonjee.
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Thanks a ton, Ms. Inessa! Your observations are spot on and I agree that dancing is best left to tho.. read moreThanks a ton, Ms. Inessa! Your observations are spot on and I agree that dancing is best left to those who are truly adept in it, same as any other artform should be left to those who have a flair for it. Saves the world a lot of heartache. Have a great day you.
This is a well-expressed & meaningful poem, but it's hard for me not to wonder if I've not just read three poems in a row that are related to this vengeance you seem to have against a certain writer. I hope you can focus on something other than this pretty soon becuz you are letting a dumb fixation define your writing when you throw down 3 poems in a row circling the same rant. Show us you are about more than just pointing out how someone doesn't measure up to your standards (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Of course Ms. Barley! As I already said before, your heartfelt words have been absorbed and apreciat.. read moreOf course Ms. Barley! As I already said before, your heartfelt words have been absorbed and apreciated very much by this writer. You'll be happy to know, I'm moving on to a book and to better things hopefully. Thanks a ton again!
4 Years Ago
Thank you for understanding & good luck on a book!
Nice flow to this one :) Indeed, if one is to execute their passion for art of any vein, they have to work for it and lay excuses to the wind so to speak...nicely done pestonjee...
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Thanks a lot for appreciating this poem, Ms. Ruth...