ALL MY WRITING HAS VANISHED.... iN TIME i WILL ATTEMPT TO WRITE AGAIN

Reviews

[Nikki]

oooooooo

this was intense and RAW....again, i must succumb to my thought of Nikki stay away from THUNDER BUTTE!!! i just dont think i can survive there...so i will leave that to the REAL cowboys!!! =)

(hey even though i'm from TX im still a city gal! lol)


this is classic YOU!

you have a way with language that lyterally SINGS! your vocabulary and style shines again in this and i must give kudos where kudos are due! thanks for sending this my way!

[Eagle Cruagh]

For some reason the original write was not posted,
it remained blank. For anyone who is interested
I took the easy way out and posted it as a review.
Enjoy !


NIGHT ON THUNDER BUTTE CREEK


The blackness of the night wrapped around us like a shroud,
Clammy and evil, full of dreadful sound
The scream of woman with mortal wounds
Full of snickering , why ? I only wish to live the night
To not succumb in fear to this anguish all about

The creek called Thunder Butte, runs full and rippling in the dark
Forested thick with trees that screen the evil lurking there
There eyes glow fierce , then disappear amid the undergrowth
But howls persist , like the banshee of legends mark
She comforts me , but trembles as the panther tears and rips
The splintering roof , starved and after one fat child.

I`m crying now, and clutch my mom, the one protection from
This demon of the night who will not stop until he`s done, but
A little shanty ranch house can`t withstand the onslaught of this
mad gargoyle tearing there , one thought in mind, only one
This fat child and why he fears the dark.

My mother not yet done, grabs an old and rusty 12 gauge gun from
Beside the bed, one loud explosion , blasting these little ears
Another hole appears , the moon shines through our flimsy roof
Where panther and twelve gauge spanned the years , to spell
Out doom for that old puma, sobbing , snarling off into the gloom.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Katherine Wyatt]

I wondered where it was a fine work.... wonderful imagery... a fine work

[Kira Love]

Incredible. The imagery is outstanding! This is a fantastic write, John!!

[JP thinks the WC is apt..]

This was great - very classic in its tone, along the lines of Hound of the Baskervilles, or such like. A thrilling and suspenseful read!

[Kasia A. Tilander]

The imagery you've painted here is amazing. I feel as though I have been transported into another time and place, a much darker, scarier place. The only suggestion I have is to change the word 'there' in the second stanza, third line to 'their'.
Thanks for the adventure!

Kasia.

[Leah Simone]

The title made me think it was going to be something totally different..... but this was dark, creative, and mesmerizing -Leah