Another Sorry to A Fibbling Stalker

She is a fibbling stalker from a few days past-
Not like the seraphic side of my frisky girl
I interred far away- yet able to palliate this athirst
Eyes; to see exultant love in that dance, that whirl.
Adjoining sinless by the sinisters- over millenia spreaded rumor
- "behold stalker, this palatial smile isn't in whilst,
Hung aloft the writhing, owning tithe of titanic tocher
By a songstress with a guitar, ditty, doggerel, in spurious forest.
That still strangling shape formed is still here, and she was explained
That sporadic story pauperizing this idiotic, earthly being;
'Presto in her voice, as she speaks,' in her helix he murmured,
That ostentatious haunt in music, muzzy, yet enchanting."
Right here; surmising the halo is undone. Unsound, unwritten glory of shame:
This Yuletide; she can't be mine. I wonder, who to blame...

Author's Note

instead the 'strangling shape' above, there was actually the shape.. a letter of alphabet... which i thought would be sth not forvthe readers

Reviews

[Chryiss]

A very interesting turn of phrasing you have. Firstly, what exactly does fibbling mean? As it's not an actual word, I can only guess by how it was used and what I understood from the poem. Although, to be very honest, I'm actually rather confused for the most part. While your word choices are unique and striking, especially with your enchanting use of alliteration, I really don't quite understand what's happening due to the great abundance of visual and sensual words. At times I felt like I grasped the story, only to have it slip away with your unusual, though beautiful, phrasing. The description before the poem also didn't shed much light on the story.

"behold stalker, this palatial smile isn't in whilst,
Hung aloft the writhing, owning tithe of titanic tocher.."
The choice of whilst was puzzling after a preposition, and as it continued I was not quite sure what was being told throughout this quote. A few other words too, threw me off. Also, palliate, not pallatiate, is what I think you meant. Ostentatious, ostentational too isn't a word, although it didn't bother me that much considering what the -al suffix means. Also, adjoicing... rejoicing? adjoining?
If I go phrase by phrase, I understand and enjoy them for the most part such as "seraphic side of my frisky girl."
But some phrasing I enjoyed contained misspellings or incorrect grammar such as "over millenia spreaded rumor." Millennia. Spread. However, with poems, we can push the conventional usage of words, but still, this was rather flustering, seeing spreaded.

It's odd. Even though there's quite a bit that unsettles me, your style of writing is enchanting and imaginative. I enjoy seeing new combinations of words that aren't usually put together in a phrase. Your phrasing is befuddling yet beautiful. And I'm not quite sure what to make of this poem. If I split the phrases below...

Intriguing/pretty phrasing with correct spelling & grammar:
"I interred far away"
"Hung aloft the writhing"
"tithe of titanic tocher"
"ditty, doggerel, in spurious forest"
"That sporadic story pauperizing this idiotic, earthly being"
"surmising the halo is undone"
"Unsound, unwritten glory of shame"

Intriguing/pretty phrasing with incorrect spelling and or grammar:
"pallatiate this athirst"
"Adjoicing sinless by the sinisters"
"over millenia spreaded rumor"
"this palatial smile isn't in whilst"
"in her helix he murmurred" --> murmured
"That ostentational haunt in music, muzzy, yet enchanting."

I loved all these phrases, and they all made me think and chew on them as I tried to digest the meaning or the image being offered. So unusual, but so interesting and captivating. And yet in the second list, a little unsettling... Again, with poetry we can push conventions, but for the sake of expressing your story, I think more colloquial terms need to be used. While I and many love delicious language, writing at least somewhat in the vernacular is often necessary to clearly convey your story. So overall, ambitious phrasing, but it's a little overdone for myself personally. However, I would love to hear your interpretation and meaning behind each of your lines as well as the overall story being told.

[7's]

i never gave it a second look
you digged me off.. Chryiss :-(
but loved to learn some

i just, yet, am a reader

[7's]

god my server reloaded i have to write all these again...i' m going to write line no. to save time this time...sorry for this.

(1)-->a new stalker who lies a lot, trivial lies... actually i like this word 'fibbling', kinda my word..

(2)-->this stalker might not be like the angelic side of my smone.. whom i broke up with last Jan(2018)..she was indeed seraphic, frisky and had other sides too...just as written

(3)-->'interred far away' is for breaking up long time ago..
'yet able to palliate this athirst Eyes' was a remark for the new one...the word 'pallatiate' was something spell mistake by some merging up while typing...sorry for that

(4)-->this is the usual stuff.. you know.

(5)-->Adjoining sinless by the sinisters..
sinless: her(the old one). and me: unlucky.. which, i heard, always happens,like from millenia.. innocent lives for some unlucky ones...
i think the use of 'spreaded' intensifies ' adjoining sinless by sinisters' as it makes me grip all the happenings over the time in once..

(6)-->warning the stalker, as she might be thinking of this princely smile is 'cause of her'..
i'm doubful for use of 'whilst' myself. i used it as a synonym of 'while' and for rhyme scheme with 'forest' in the 8th line..

(7)-->'writhing' is taken as a noun, and next about the smile; i used 'tithe' as for a part and for alliteration( the only thing you liked) and 'tocher' here is given to me (as saying of in love)by a songstress..whose little part is owned by the palatial smile which is the reason one of the many reason of its occurence

(8)-->she was an actual musician..ditty and doggerel was for that.. and the 'unreal' is not actually unreal.. it is a true place now burned up..and it is not a forest too... just group of many small trees....also this spurious was reference to what is kept as our memory in that forest is now fading away..

(9)-->that shape is something magical happend before, which no one else been knowning instead me... a secret of mine shared to her makes her truly special

(10)-->this line would be clear by now

(12)-->again a spell fault..sorry again...i said she was frisky...result..presto in her voice always near her ear he murmered...some lines for expressiin of love.

(12)-->another fault.. this wasn't spelling... actually i read a lot and i got ostentation and made up the -al versiin myself i would never do it again...haunt: roaming around in music with her..which is little muzzy(she is a girl yet) yet enchanting..

(13)-->right now, surmising i might have given her sth more beautiful, seraphic like her..the halo is undone..then there the last lines.. never heard, never written glory of shame...refers to me regretting....

(14)-->as i said it happened that january, that cristmas2017 she was mine...but this cristmas as i keep longing for her, the stalker can't be mine.. she must not be....I again wonder who is ti blame for this, the breakup, the longing, me broking up, me longing, the stalker trying to get closer who is not truthful, my songstress, me avoiding that stakler..mostly me.

actually this wasn't written for readers.. was some frustration there..

i suggest you my 'to the left one' written for the stalker again...i might be writing this one to explain her the past...may be.

and thanx again.....
i guess i'm inti that feeling again right now..

[Chryiss]

Thank you for the in detailed explanation! I did get a feeling of the meaning, and it actually matched a lot of what you just explained; I was simply unsure because of the unique language. I actually did like more than just the alliteration, so please don't take my review the wrong way. :) All the phrases I listed I liked, but as I said, they had a sort of baffling beauty to them. I wasn't certain I knew what they meant since the overall poem was somewhat esoteric, but I liked the flow/sound as I read--it had an entrancing melody of sorts, perhaps due to the rhymes which weren't "perfect" rhymes. (I mean not "perfect" like tell/sell or home/throne where the whole word is basically the same sound--I actually prefer this kind of rhyming over singsongy "perfect" ones).
Misspellings are fine, happens to everyone! I've never heard of fibbling before, but since it was similar to fibbing, I had supposed it meant lying as well. As for ostentation-al, like I said, I think it's okay to push the conventions of language. And in this case, it works.

I still hold true to my last paragraph in my initial review. I can love your language while still being somewhat perplexed by it. I don't think many people could understand this poem due to the unique phrasing, and while that's okay (especially since you said it wasn't written for readers), I just felt it was a shame because I saw great potential in this poem if it was just written a little more in the vernacular. If I had to alike this situation to something, it would be that you're describing your innermost thoughts and imaginations, but we can't quite see inside your head/the full picture.
Anyway, don't fret, and keep on writing. I look forward to seeing your next piece. :)

[7's]

just.. thanks for this.... things are happening to me and i guess now i can take it as a hobby again instead just for frustrating out. .
just thanks for this