Ashes.

A Collab A friend and I did. He's not here on writers, yet here's some credit. He's the victim and I'm the bully. He's one of the most happiest boys i know that wrote that part of the poem :D

Victim’s P.O.V

 

Don't light the cigarette

When the fire comes

I start to burn my skin

My skin is darkening

Like my mind

I have no one around

To give me a helping hand

Reach my hand

And you get burned

I’m meant to be alone

Forever and ever

I’m burning in hell,

With no source of help,

I’m all alone with no one to help,

I’m by myself and I’m burning up.

I reach for a helping hand, but they turn me their back

They just ignore me, and let me burn, like they want me to....

 

 

Bully’s P.O.V

 

I did it

He’s all alone

No one to help

He’s vulnerable now

I can have what I want

He won’t fight against me

He’s going down

He wishes for a better life

A helping hand?

But he’s burning on the ground

Nothing more than a puppet in Devil’s servitude

I watch him lying there, lost and alone

 

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar Problems.
Honest Opinion As Always.

Reviews

[brenda]

wow! loved the ending suspenseful i feel bad for the guy but i can relate to the guy too sometimes nice write !:)

[Lily Mae]

A dark and excellent write.. :) xx Great co~write..x

[The fallen of innocence]

i pity the poor victim and i can relate to what he's dealing

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

A wonderful collaboration. Isn't it awesome when you find a friend you can write with?

[Carrion.]

very good:D
visual was magnificent, "He’s vulnerable now I can have what I want"
One of my favorite lines ^

[Chris]

Dual-expressions (seperate POS's of the same instant) - or even someone says, then someone says, then someone says... taken to subject, even heart. We wonder, wander whys within... whim.

What do we reveal - even to ourselves - when we 'feel' about our own thoughts?

Even lies have a truth...


Chris

[Gilbert Saint]

great, could use more work on the edges though

[Brad]

Nothing more than a puppet in Devil’s servitude


that is a killer line

[nevermindfan1991]

Nice, very descriptive and interesting structure that you choose. Great job!

[Thea]

You really visualize things so well...Love it... :)