Silent Scream.

As I scream

A silent scream

No one listens

No one cares.

 

 

My tears

Nothing but my salty tears

Is  everything everybody is laughing at

How come can they laugh at me

Laugh at me when I want to die!

 

 

Death

Nothing but darkness

Yet I wouldn’t feel a thing

Wouldn’t see a thing

Never ever touch him...

 

 

How come can anyone be so heartless

So cold

So f*****g dumb?

 

 

I wish I could answer my own questions

I just can’t

Oh how I hate what everyone do to me

What they’re telling me

I hate the fact they’re trying to break me.

My silent scream

ain't enough to find the will

ain't enough for me to survive

ain't enough to find help.

 

As I write

"if I loose you"

on my bare pale arm

I see the red blood run down

in a pretty line.

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar Problems Please.
Honest Oppinion.

Reviews

[kyrie]

Evet scar tells a story. Sometimes they're the scars others gave us while trying to prove themselves, sometimes it's the scars we give ourselves to find strength. They may try to make us ashamed, but we are still alive. Dead, but alive. And one day, we will be fully akive. We'll make it out.

Awesome write. True, unashamed, raw, pointed. Wonderful job.

[Marie Harrison]

Very emotional poem that's full of angst. I love it!

[M.Babu]

your poetry is so dark and I agree with Chelsea you've completely mastered dark poetry. It's a good poem and you've come a long way from what i can tell (poetrywise i mean:)). Good write- quite powerful

[Cynthia]

The emotion in this poem is just.. so deep.. everyone can feel it in our heart, and its very emotional......The pain of this poem go into my heart, and its so powerful!
Amazing!

[Steph's_romantic_myster..]

This is a passionate, desperate poem. That spells anguish in the hearts of the reader... You grammer is better on this one too... I am proud of you !!!! Great job!

[Sarah Mizkatt]

Nice and filled with (what I would call) 'deadly emotions'
So an absolutly nice piece of work. ^w^

Buuuuuuuut.
You've used the picture of my arm! Inu-cha~an! It wasen't surposed to be used on anything else than that schoolproject....
You meanie. :C

[hannajade]

you can really feel the emotions in this poem, so dark, but also powerful... also, i hope that you havee wrote out your frustration and are ready to feel good! (just ingore those stupid people, i know its hard but worthh it..) 100/100!

[Brook]

The way you wielded your words sculpted your poem into beauty. Its conclusion was striking, and the way you arrived at it was even more so. I felt the meaning lurking behind the words, especially since your structure reflected that you didn't care about perfect-syllable paragraphs or rhyming more than you should. You cared about what the poem meant to you and others.

The aspect of hopelessness was so evident it made me want to reach out. It was a reminder of all the dark places I've been and all the dark reasons for them, yet it was beautiful because it shares that even when you are alone you are not in your suffering.

Every rhetorical question seemed to echo the screaming. It was the desperation of the hopeless person's voice, the wishing to understand their reasonless torture. But to no avail, as you drew to the ending and wrote out the surrender of the person who has lost feeling or felt too much. Whether numb or always aching, the blade always seems to end the story.

The words "if I lose you" without an end to the sentence was a stroke of genius. I hope you continue to use that technique.

To criticize, I only have your grammar in a few places, which Chelsea pointed out already. It was overall beautiful.

[Apathy To Empathy]

I am sooooooooo right there with you. The pain and agony and yet the power you may feel is what I feel to. Great write!

[Chelsea]

I have some ideas for you….
My tears
Nothing but my salty tears- Take out of the tears, I think that it will only make the poem strange.
Is everything everybody is laughing at- This doesn’t quite make sense?!?! I couldn’t figure out what you were getting at.
How come can they laugh at me- A bit of a grammar issue. “How come they can laugh at me”. Just the words out of order!!
Never ever touch him...- Never ever touching him.
Oh how I hate what everyone do to me- Should be… “Oh how I hate what everyone does to me”
Sorry to be so annoying with all of those! I hope they helped you…
A great poem. Cutting I guess can be triggered from mean things said by others, or broken hearts. As this poem says! A wonderful poem, you mastered dark depressing poetry!
100/100