I am falling I am falling Please carry me home Yes carry me home.
I need you now How am I supposed To tell you so? Please carry me home Yes carry me home.
Like a snowflake in the sun I am melting As you feel alive I feel dead. Your happiness makes me feel good Though I’m still dead inside
I feel hollow I feel sorrow I feel everything Everything’s crashing down Down just around my ears
The darkness is my new kingdom Yes it’s my new kingdom I just wish I could let go of it I don’t want that sort of kingdom
I’ll keep on fighting Fighting against the darkness Yes I’ll keep on fighting
You’re my angel in the dark Carry me home Yes carry me home
You’re my sunshine My sunshine in the rain.
My sun in a cloudy sky The light in the dark You’re the happiness In those hard times
I am falling I am falling Please carry me home Yes carry me home
The sky is falling down on me You’ll be there to keep it up You wont let it break me I wont let it break you Your arms is my castle Your heart is my everything Every heartbeat makes me Want to live Every heartbeat of mine Makes you want to live
I am falling I am falling Please carry me home Yes carry me home.
I understand that you are hurting, an unfortunate by product of growing up. (It gets much better, wonderful, i9n fact.) That said, you have written a sad, subtle, almost wistful poem that many will relate to. The only critique is the overuse of repetition of phrases, it weakens the impact of your brilliant words.
My honest oppinion is, you need'nt feel this way. You need to remember that you are a good person and screw what other people think. I too have dwelt in the darkest shadows, wishing people would just leave me alone, and let me dwell in the serenity of my darkest deepest desires. I disagree with miller's statement, its not a product of growing up... Its a product of life, Just don't shut your self out to all the good things as well. yeah they come and go, yeah when they go it often times hurts, but its those experiences that make us stronger and make us want to fight even more harder.... Or, they can destroy you. Life is a tornado, strong and unpredictable. It often causes disaster, but still must take its course... This is an enjoyable piece, because we get to know you for you. You are an angel!!!! remember that!
Amazing! And in fact, thats what I feel now, I know how your are being hurt and the pain...... Yes, I am not goign to lie, but really, thats amazing! However, I dont think the repetition is a problem, thats make it stronger when I read it out loud, it sort of add the emotions more inside, and oh, thats so moving!Thats sad, and I am sure lots of people can relate to this! Great Job!
Posted 13 Years Ago
Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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I love the repition but it makes it sound a bit like a song. It reminds me of Yilma Tafere Tasews 'If I could poem' although he only repeats one line. Its a really well written poem - well done!
This is written very well! It would go excellent as a song, Sadness can take over a persons life if given into it, look to what makes you happy and grasp onto that and hold on!