Everything.

Everything I’ve been through is on top of my mind right now, when I saw my mom cry infront of me, I knew somehthing was wrong, god damn wrong.

I changed too fast, like 6 years in a week.

I had to be the adult when my mom took care of my dad while he was at the doctors place.

The tears ran down my checks but I had to be the adult then I took care of my three brothers though the tears still ran down.

Since that day everything got worse... some of my friend wants to commit suicide, it doesn’t help me, but I can help them to stop, though I can give it a try.

I’ve saved 4 lifes, some of them more than once.

I think I’ll break down if it happens again soon, the only thing there makes me feel alive is my friends, boyfriend and family, though my dead dog does too, I’ve seen her running across the garten it makes me miss her so much, I wish she was here, I think I’m going insane... I see my dead dog, feeling a cold hand on my shoulder and I hear voices inside my head who screams my name like they were in pain.. a sound on the window though there’s nothing out there.