Doubt.

I’ve started to doubt on myself.. am I the Sunshine as I were for a few years ago?
Am I even who I am?

Who am I?

I’m lost, I’ve ruined it for you I’m so sorry...
I’m bad I know... I thought I could help you by doing everything for you correctly now I know what I did was wrong... I helped you in the worst way I could... I did it... I got respect you didn’t... you needs it I don’t....

They should be scared of you... not me...

You’re the one who needs to stand up and say “shut the f**k up, I don’t care about what you say though you have to shut the f**k up and leave me alone”...

I have to learn you such thing... if I don’t then I don’t know what will happen later in your life...
It’s my resposibility.... I have to do it...

I know it will be hard but please do it for me...

I feel bad about ruining your future.. I wish I could turn back time.. told you to tell them to shut up and beat the crap out of them... though I yelled at them the day right after..

THAT was the biggest failure of mine... ever...

I got pissed couldn’t resist and I had to do it.. Now I know I did it for myself... not for you....

Please forgive me...I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done to you.. maybe you haven’t seen it yet, though I have...