TREASON

A vague depiction of delusional world and falsehood.

The unheard voice
Screaming twice.

The muttered truth,
A modest lie.

The prevailing "peace,"
A garnished beast.

The perfect alliance,
Pertaining defiance.

The Symbolized slavery,
Mocking bravery.

It joys me for a reason,
An oblivious treason.

Author's Note

Critical review with goods and bads whatsoever

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Your statements, real world thoughts. Hard to understand this world. Allow great city to be blow-up, daily create more homeless and killing women, children and old people in the way of war. I enjoyed your work. Worthwhile and needed.
Coyote

[DanialKhan]

Thank you! It means a lot

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy. No wasted words and you are welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like the message, the pace, the slant rhyme etc.
I think it is interesting how this piece fits our country right now as well...we are slaves to our own apathy i'm afraid.
And we all seem oblivious to the treason...or just don't feel caring makes a difference any more.
j.

[DanialKhan]

Thank you! For the review.
You're quite right and I am happy you got the message which I tried to convey

[barleygirl]

Welcome to the cafe! After reading this, I want you to post more stuff! You are a deep thinker and you choose your words to convey a thought-provoking message. I find it interesting how you are from "the other side of the world", but all these things apply to so many countries, especially the USA. It does feel like treason against good sense & humanity & the planet sometimes! I am a fan of rhyme, so it's good to see how you used rhyme well, but your message was not controlled by it (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[DanialKhan]

Thank you! So much for the review and your kind words. I am pleased to know you like it.
However, I would like you to elaborate it when you say that the message was not controlled by it.
What do you mean? I didn't get it.

[DanialKhan]

Thank you! So much for the review and your kind words. I am pleased to know you like it.
However, I would like you to elaborate it when you say that the message was not controlled by it.
What do you mean? I didn't get it.

[barleygirl]

Some poets are working so hard to catch a rhyme, the message feels like it is not stated in a strong or powerful way. Here you rhyme when the rhymes work, but you don't rhyme if it's not working. It's OK to rhyme in an uneven way. Some cannot let a poem have rhyme in places & no rhyme in other places. To me, this feels like it is following the natural flow of how the rhymes came to you.

[DanialKhan]

Okay now I get it.
Thank you! For the elaboration and your Time.

[Neville]

I think this poem shows considerable promise, I particularly like the first three stanzas.. a great first post and welcome to the Cafe... N

[DanialKhan]

Thank you! I am glad you like it.

[Neville]

no problem