Albert (an observation)

things I notice

Cesspool

Black out

Red headed woman lost in a sea of cars

Pulling her baggy a*s pants up

Trying to look confident though she’s weak inside

Stale coffee rests on her tongue

 

Fat American male parks

Squeezing out of his car

Donut powder on his lap

Jelly lips

Exhausted as he walks through the maze of Hondas and Toyotas

 

Old

Young

Do the same all over the world

Waking up

Dragging in

Stepping into the black out

Struggling in the cesspool

Until death

Until death

Author's Note

let me know what you think

Reviews

[Carla, A Branch of the ..]

I like the first two stanzas. Keep going with the descriptions. No need to summarize (or tell us what you're talking about) Give us another few examples, perhaps in age progression, and we'll get what you're saying without the summary. Poetry is truth like this, happening. let the reader experience the meaning. Keep workin it though cuz it has lots to say.

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

thank you very much, you have giving lots of great tips.

[MOON]

Poignant deep write is there meaning to the rat race.

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

thank you very much, I guess the only meaning will be what we want to place on it.