Too Late

This is a story about two best friends who didn't end up so well. Just read on.

Too Late

Lately he hasn’t been talking to me. I don’t know what’s wrong with him but he wasn’t like this before. Frank, my best friend for 9 years, wasn’t like this. Lately, he’s always absent from school, whenever I’d see him, he’s pale and he looked sick. Whenever I tried to make a conversation with him, he would cut it short, ignore me or just walk out.

You might be thinking why it’s affecting me so much, but, hello? He’s my best friend and I’m going to say this now; I’m already in love with him. I just can’t take that he’s not talking to me anymore. Those 9 years of us being best friends and he wouldn’t talk to me out of nowhere? I hate it when that happens. Okay, I’m going to corner him this lunch and ask him what’s wrong.

 

“Frank, what’s wrong?” I said as I tried to push him lightly to the wall. He wasn’t looking at me. He can’t look at me.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Nothing! Seriously, I’ve been your best friend for 9 years, Frank, and it is obvious something’s wrong. What is?” I insisted. I won’t let him go this time.

“You want to know what’s wrong, Jen?” he looked at me. He looked angry. “I don’t want to talk to you anymore! I don’t want to see you anymore, just-just leave me alone!” he exclaimed and left me. I guess I just let him go again. As he left, my face became wet with tears. I ran across the cafeteria and into the girls wash room. I wasn’t able to take what he said to me. Everything he said, it hurt and he looked like he meant it!

 

It’s been two days since I last spoke to him and I have no more plans to talk to him again. Also, he’s been gone ever since the last time we spoke to each other. What’s weird is that he hurt me but I still love him.

Whatever is happening to him, I have no idea, but I seriously have a bad feeling. He wouldn’t just ignore me for no reason at all!

As I walked down the school corridor, some boys were smirking and whispering while looking at me. I had a weird feeling it had something to do with Frank. I don’t know where that feeling came from but I felt I had to do something about it, but I have no idea what to do about it.

I came home after school, still thinking about Frank when my mother came rushing to me.

“Mom! What’s wrong?” I asked her, nearly panicking.

“You… take a look at this!” she was panting as she handed me her phone. I checked the message and it made me cry. I ran as fast as I can to the nearest hospital.

 

“How is he?” I asked Frank’s mom. She was crying so hard and so was I.

“I’m sorry to say this but he’s gone.” The doctor said when he heard what I ask. Frank’s mom just nodded in agreement.

“What? W-why?” I asked in between sobs.

“He d-died in a-a g-gang w-wa-war,” Frank’s mom explained. “R-read this.” She said as she lent me Frank’s phone. It was opened in the sent message folder. I clicked the first message and it said:

Look, I’m already ignoring her. I’m not talking to her anymore. Leave my best friend alone. I love her.

 

I guess it’s too late for everything. I had nothing to do, I couldn’t bring him back. The text message made me sit down and cry as hard as I can. Nothing will be the same again. 

Reviews

[Jim Parson]

Rica, I think you have a future in this, if you pursue it! You write better than many girls much older than you. You obviously care about your spelling and punctuation, which is a big plus. This story is very imaginative and creative. I never saw the end coming and that's a good thing in this type of story. The only real issue you have is in the use of tenses, which could be the result of English as a second language (if English is a second language for you). If you concentrate on being consistent with your tenses, you will be amazing. Here's a couple of examples for you:

"The text message made me sit down and cry as hard as I can." You've written most of your story in the past tense, but the word "can" is present tense. It should read "The text message made me sit down and cry as hard as I could."

"The doctor said when he heard what I ask." "The doctor said when he heard" is past tense and "what I ask" is present tense. Ask should be asked to be consistent.

So study your past and present tenses hard in your English classes and pay attention when you write to make sure you are always using the same tense consistently throughout and you will become great!

[tHe]

wOw touching to the limit! i loved every part. everyone is write when they say you are talented!

[Quiana Shakia]

Very nice story..keep it up..young talent :)

[An Ordinary Woman]

Very cool writing, A7XRica. Indeed you are quite talented.

I loved the shock ending!

[Kvetina]

Oh! That's so . . . desperately sad. You should totally extend this . . . somehow, do a "Psych! Frank didn't really die . . .he was kidnapped!" or something like that! I'm hooked. Put some more detail in, like describe their friendship, add a couple days or something before he stops talking to her. TOTALLY awesome story, though. btw, thanks for reviewing my story!

[Michael]

I am new to reviewing others work, I figure we just say whats on our minds right?
Thank you very much for sharing this with us.
It is very very good,
I am a grown man and about to cry :(

Why did they have to show her the text :(

[iamkim]

Impressive work for a 13 year-old gal :) Nice one Rica! Keep it up. You've got the talent; you write very well. I have seen grammatical errors, but it was understandable. It did not pull the lines out of your story's thought.

Good job!