(I havn't had a title for this one yet) (any suggestoin)

Our God is a God of love so to forgive me He would.

Our God is  the God of life and death so to forgive me could.

But I am the chief of sinners so to forgive me is it something he should?

 

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

Interesting poem. i like that you had three lines, because the number three in literature almost always symbolizes doom. This really fits into the text of the poem. And as for the actual subject, it is something many people struggle with. I as a gay young woman, often question that very thing. God is all loving, yet he would damn sinners to hell for all of eternity because of who they love? Reminds me of Bo Burnhams Catholic Rant: "The blue-balled anti-masturbator/The great all-loving f****t hater." Religion and god is often almost impossible to decipher, which leaves a lot up to interpretation. Your poem reminded me also of Lucifer in Paradise Lost, with the mention of the "chief of sinners" although he didn't seek forgiveness so much as justification.

One note. You seem a bit inconsistent with the "he". I think you left it out in the second line, and it should be capitalized in the last. Other than that, I see nothing wrong in this. A good write. Titles for poems are the hardest for me. I usually just go with a line in the poem, or a single word that could sum up the poem. That's a bit harder to do with this one.

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

This was a nice play on words with the would, could, should. I think you left out a "He" in the second line, though. Also, I'm not sure, but I think instead of saying "so to forgive me He would" you could just say "so forgive me He would"--drop the "to." It seems like that would make more sense.

As far as a title, I personally like to keep mine simple, so if it were me, I'd just call it something along the lines of "Forgiveness." But this is a little tricky because it deals with so much in only three lines...

[Pollyanna]

I found this to be an interesting and thought provoking inquiry; very well written. I do believe you have found your voice! Please make sure you always proof your work for puncuation and pronoun usage.

[Sukriti Suki]

How about ' to forgive, divine?'

I really like this. We can never know the parameters of sin or forgiveness...Less words but says a lot more.

[Coyote Poetry]

A wise person fall down once. They learn not to repeat the mistake. God protect the innocence and wise. A good title for this poem could be "To forgive." My father drank and was mean to all people. He believed he would go to heaven if he went to church one time a year and asked for forgiveness? A powerful poem. Open the doors to many questions. Forgiveness must come from within for a mind and heart to know peace.
Coyote