Forgivness

In a nutshell, I complety giving myself up to God in all of his might and splinder, praying, begging before him for His forgivness

Forgiveness

Hear my plea my God, hear my cry oh my God as I call upon you name.

I try so hard to be like you to be the same.

But I take the consequences, I take the blame.

Lift me from this

I beg your of your forgiveness, your holiness beaming.

Help me while I’m awake, help me while I’m dreaming.

Help me oh my God, cant’ you see these tears down my cheeks streaming?

Hear my while I’m on my knees my sins confess.

My God, God by you I want to be bless.

God where are you? I need you in this mess.

Can’t take this anger, the regret, the stress.

I push and I shove but only in vain I strive.

I feel useless, pathetic oh God why am I even alive?

My God, oh my God help me survive

Pull me out of this sin in which I dive.

My God, my God do you get my vive.

I can’t sleep. The bags on my eyes look like that of a raccoon.

My God, God I need your help and I need it soon.

You told me your love, your grace, your mercy, would always last.

But for a sinner like me could it really last?

Oh God, I try praying, I try to fast.

My God, my God, please your presence over me cast.

I need your God, forgiveness the sins of my future, present and past.

Help my oh my God, help me succeed.

For this sin makes my heart bled.

Forgive me of all my sins thoughts, word and deed.

In my heart plant your seed.

Then give me not what I want but what I need.

As I eat your body and eat your blood.

Oh God, with your presence over me flood.

Wash away my sins that are on my heart like mud.

Oh God, oh my God at times it seems like you don’t care.

I know you do, but at times it seems like your only stare.

HEAR MY OH MY GOD! AS I rip my clothes and rip out my hair.

There’s got to be more to life than this.

God, oh God show me your forgiveness, show me your bliss.

Oh my God show me your paths, show me your way.

Show me your love, my sinful ways to sway.

Forgive me as my tears you dry.

Keep me until your hands until the day I die.

Remember me, even though you at times I deny.

I need you more and more as the day’s go by.

Help me God, for I just want to give up and cry.

At times I say I don’t need you but I know that’s a lie.

Forgive me Oh my God although I sin time after time.

Give me the strength to forgive those against me did crime.

Replace my anxious with your patience in my head.

Wit your comfort and forgiveness keep me well fed.

Take out my lies and lust.

Put in your love and trust.

Teach me how to be nice, how to be kind.

Oh my God help me cleanse my mind,

Help me move forward sense I can’t go rewind.

Help mw forgive myself, leave the past behind.

Help me out of this abyss of which I have game to bind.

Hold me close oh my God even when I hate.

Show me your unconditional love, of with maybe one day I can relate.

Oh my God, my God please take off my shoulders this weight.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

Spare me oh my God from your wrath.

For I am the Chief of Sinner’s but I prey you have mercy on me.

Take my from the devil, make me free.

Open my eyes God, help me see.

Help my God, to be the Christian I know I should be.

My God, my god please open up my heart.

Put in your love, make it a part.

Oh my God, my God I call upon your name.

I want to be like you image I want to be the same.

Reviews

[Pollyanna]

You've done a wonderful job conveying desperation and angst while pleading for forgiveness and understanding. Bravo!

I agree with Laura regarding rhyming. Try a more free-form approach so it has a more natural flow and feel. Also, your excessive use of "My God" could very well be a contributor to the forced feeling; try removing approximately half. I try not to be a grammar nazi, but always make sure you check your spelling and usage (ie: their, there, they're).

[Ashley]

i agree with laurarenee....it is written quite well at time, but the flow shifts from a poem to more of a frantic plea back to poem to almost open letter to god. all of which are things that this subject matter conjure up. i might suggest breaking it down and deciding what is the most important aspect of your faith you're trying to write on. is it the desire to be in god's image? or is it the "more to life than this" aspect...is it wanting to know where god is.

i feel like this could be several pieces, really. there are so many complex and interesting ideas in here. a little editing and i think it'll be great!

[LauraRenee]

Some of it is written well but then it quickly shifts to simplistic. It causes the flow to be disrupted. Maybe I would also say be careful with rhyming. Not all poems have to rhyme. Sometimes rhyming just seems forced. Go with what you're feeling and the words will flow better than any rhyming poem.

[A.G Franke]

Thanks for the review! =) Do you have an suggestoin of wording that would be more complex? I made this one about 2months ago, and I'v only been writing for about 6 months so I'm exsatly what you call an "expericed poet"

[LauraRenee]

I am very much the same in faith. Some of your wording is very simplistic which isn't always a bad thing but could be worked on.