Pale Folk

Above a town of rolling rooves

There is a room, leaking light

Like haze from high windows out;

A bluff against the winter sky

Where three lost souls keep company.

They sit together, timorously,

'round the window on three sides;

Melancholy, Dour, and Sad

But talking, laughing, miming -

And who would be the first to sigh?

But the joke falls flat. A gust

Echoes through the February air

Like a long breath rattling in the teeth.

And a silence creeps in, unawares,

That no-one can do anything with.

How fast the hours go, they think. How few remain!

The year, they know, will draw them down,

Down into the streets and parks as it unfurls.

They'll chase the tail of life again,

Find and lose their way, following the trail

Whilst in their empty room the sun

Will press in rudely through the pane;

Pasting sky onto the back walls

In great triangles, like murals

Of the world before the fall

As though to illuminate

The hardship and the spoil.

Hence three friends sit in heavy quiet

Awaiting what feels like the end -

Until the conversation splutters back to life again.

In the room, the sun goes down.

Yellow light leaks into the dark

And away across the streets and tracks.

The atmosphere eases as they talk.

Three of many, pale folk.

Author's Note

There are a few things I'm not sure about here: does the third stanza flow alright? Does the first line of the 4th stanza - 'How fast the hours go...' come across as artificial? Does the ending work? Your opinion on these aspects of the work would be greatly appreciated.

Reviews

[Calamity]

Good job with this one.
Enjoyed it.

[Dr. Wood ?]

I found it both mysterious and rather compelling. But as I have often said,,I am NO expert on poetry. I DO normally write with pattern and your 4th stanza does jar slightly with too many syllables. But that is only MY opinion and to repeat...I am NO expert. However I must mention that ROOVES should surely be Roofs...just a thought

[A.A.]

Bah. You're right about roofs, but I can't exactly change it.. Or is it pronounced the same? It pays to get these things right first time.

Otherwise, yeah, I'll have another look at that fourth stanza. Thanks alot for the review.

[Dr. Wood ?]

You CAN change it,,just go into MANAGE WRITING on your home page..click on the poem...click on the pencil sign for edit...do the alterations and save