From where it commenced (Second chapter)

A Chapter by AnayaJ.

A flashback.

"Hey, big nose! Wassup?" Alicia said, as her cronies giggled and snickered. The new enthusiasm that had found it's way to me at the start of school year died instantly as I recognized the insult hidden behind the teasing tone.

"I don't find answering that question necessary." I snapped back.

"Aww, are you hurt? Well, your glasses won't let me see the hurt in your eyes. Why don't you take them off? Not like they suit you or anything. Oh, I forgot! You'r""

"Shut up! If you say another word, I'm going to punch you so hard you'd wish that you'd never have met me!" I was shaking with fury. Alicia smirked and walked away; her chums gave me a bemused smile as they left, laughter and satisfaction visible in their eyes.

My features couldn't be that bad, right? I wasn't pretty, but I wasn't ugly either. Everyone made fun of my nose and my glasses, and I was tired of it. I was fed up. Unfortunately, fate, like always, didn't side with me and Alicia Richards enrolled in my school. It didn't even take her a year to become the most popular and praised person in the school, and along with that, she gained the term of a 'bully'. The good thing about her, and the only thing that I liked, was that she never paid attention to any insults she received, even though she had the worst names and comebacks ready for everyone.

Alicia was the reason behind my insecurities. I had always thought that despite how big it is, my nose has always suited me; but she made me feel like it made a huge impact on my appearance. When I asked my parents whether I could get a nose job, they did not even give it a second thought before agreeing, much to my dismay. What I needed to hear at that time was that I should not give a s**t about comments which people like Alicia made on me, and that I was perfect the way I was. But getting permission to have a nose job further lowered my self-confidence and made me more insecure than before.

Now I, Erica Menzel, have a cute, straight nose, perfectly plucked and shaped eyebrows and a lot of confidence. The only thing missing out is happiness. I should have been pleased with the fact that my flaws were covered; but the fact that my beauty was fake overruled and left me with low confidence and a copious amount of insecurities. A lot of times I felt like tearing apart the façade I have been wearing and exposing my true face, but the thought of the ridiculous insults that would be thrown my way forbid me to do so.

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© 2016 AnayaJ.

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Reviews

WriterGirl247247

Nice chapter 2. There are a few grammar mistakes-- having "you'r" instead of "your". But overall, great chapter.

Like your introduction to Alicia. Hopefully we'll see more of her.

I like how you use italics for the backstory. It helps the reader get into the time frame.

Her parents are intriguing. Are they yes men that don't care about their daughter? Or did they do it to save her from the torment? Time will tell.

Looking forward to 3.

Posted 8 Years Ago

This comment has been deleted by the poster.

matrixmark

Started off brilliantly, the dialogue was good. I like how the girl thinks about herself a lot, showing her insecurities and how she thinks a lot of what people think about her. It's also good at the end where she tries reassure herself. I can see that this writing is going to grow. A prologue to introduce her insecurities would work well too.

Mark.

Posted 8 Years Ago

8 Years Ago

I was thinking about a prologue or vignette but I'm not sure if I should show her insecurities throu.. read more

WanderingDavid

You have a real gift for dialogue. Each of your first two chapters begin with great dialogue. For me, the quality of your story telling declines when you start telling rather than showing. For example, "the fact that my beauty was fake overruled and left me with low confidence and a copious amount of insecurities." is a tell. I think it would be much more interesting to read a vignette that allows us to see Erica's "copious insecurities" rather than just trusting the narrator.