Forgetting

He's just a stupid boy was all they told me, and they were right.

I'm putting on my makeup again, after crying it all away, to do something I'd rather not do today. I just want to close my eyes and forget all of this. Forget that we exist, forget you most of all. Forget the way you make me think of myself, forget the sadness and forget the emptiness that wont disappear. Just another toke from my little personal j, to make the rest of my tears fade. This way I can find strength when I need it most, even though you were supposed to be the one to hold me close. You were the one who said you'd whisper it all away. You said you'd hold me when I was weak and soothe my aching heart. I never though you'd be the one to cause this. People change every day, and I've heard expectations lead to nothing but disappointment. I'm sad to say it's true. So I wont be expecting much from you anymore. I'll open my own doors, and cradle myself in the middle of the night, when I can't stop crying. I'll battle my fears on my own. I wont need your shoulder to cry on. I wont need anyone anymore. I can make it on my own. I was fine before I meat you and I'll be fine when you leave. Cause I'm not the same little girl I use to be. I see the monsters for who they really are and I know how to fight now. I know how to guard my heart. It's just sad you had to be the one to teach me all of this. We could have had happiness, but you would rather stay at home and forget me. Well, I'm going to forget you first. So wave goodbye before I leave because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. 

Reviews

[Joel Adenyn]

I like the choices you used to describe how you feel. You mention being held twice kind of relating to the same thing. I might combine those two sentences. It is also good that you show cause and effect (In your order its effect and cause), "I know how to guard my heart. It's just sad you had to be the one to teach me all of this." Although my one critique would have to be the ending, going away doesn't mean forgetting. Usually the idea, "Out of sight, out of mind" is believed to work, but if its something like love you can't forget. I lost the woman I loved over 5 years ago and not a day does by she isn't in my thoughts.

So maybe it could be something like it would be like a dream to forget you, or you will forget him in your dreams. Maybe the desire of forgetting helps the pain. Just some suggestions. :)

[J Todd Underhill]

Sad story, but I have experienced this as well. So many times when we are young we pledge forever when we have no clue what that actually means. I still love many of the girls I dated and pledged forever to, however they are just a fleeting memory to the forever I pledged at the alter, she is forever... at least until death do us part... hopefully many many years from now!