I was just thinking about how even though I'm

a poem I deleted -- changed my mind

b"h

17 aug 2013

I was just thinking about how even though I'm

Sixty-two years old I feel like a kid inside and

Even though I know a lot of big words like

Parsimonious and all still I forget what they

Mean but that’s not really the point.  The point

Is that I was just thinking that I'm like an

Oyster or something because having this kid

Inside me and me being a grown-up and all it's

Like I'm something that has a shell like a snail

Or a clam but really I thought of an oyster 

First so I'll stay with that. Anyhow I thought

That I'm like an oyster or whatever living in

This kind of shell but then I started wondering

If the oyster is just what lives in the shell

Or if the whole thing I mean the oyster and the

Shell are the oyster if you know what I mean.  

Anyhow I guess it doesn't really matter but 

Now I think the oyster is the whole thing.

D L Firestone Feinberg

Reviews

[bobc]

D...I've encouraged this voice of yours. I rather enjoy the stream of consciousness in it. But I think the poet in you is beginning to emerge. Of all the words in the English language you chose for a big word, you came up with 'parsimonious' and couldn't remember its meaning. Made me smile. My interpretation is that you are, perhaps, just telling yourself that you want to spend words a little less easily in your poetry.

So I'd suggest trying this as an exercise. What would the poem look/sound like if you boiled the meaning down to the fewest words possible...to its essence...without regard for structure or whatever?

Keep at it...bobc

[Firestone Feinberg]

hahaha -- I'd quite forgotten (a la Freud?) what 'parsimonious' means at the time I wrote the poem. Even though I've looked up that word many times, it just doesn't stick with me. I think I'm not a parsimonious person; I brim with stuff -- as you -- and want to share it if it can help other people. Thanks for not being parsimonious in your reviews! --David

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I see you a rambling in the lines...this was on the cutting room floor and made its debut at the Cafe...interesting as you read this and get to ponder like the verse itself...Parsimonious --- it is then...

[Firestone Feinberg]

I can't ever remember what parsimonious means -- true. So I'll look it up again. But I probably won't say it. Thanks, Glen, for reading and reviewing so many of my poems. I am honored. --David

[Glen Yumang Manese]

YOU'RE WELCOME...I LIKE THEM...GIVES ME A NEW AVENUE...MOST THE WRITES I READ ARE ABOUT THE PROVERBIAL "LOVE" AND THEN MORE "LOVE" AND MORE "LOVE"...GETS A BIT MUCH...TO BEAR AT TIMES...I STARTED READING SHORT STORIES AGAIN...ALSO...I LIKE READING GOOD OR BAD...ITS KEEPS ME IN RHYTHM...