Chaotic.

Don't you think we should be closer?

Loneliness engulfs my mind,

my heart sinking deep beneath my stomach.

You're here but you're not here.

I keep latching onto the comfort of death,

only to shutdown and even lie about it all.

I have never enjoyed life.

You were once a force that drove me,

to be better and to love with all my heart again.

I have never enjoyed life.

But I am struggling to see past the pain

and all the damage, to have faith.

You're here but you're not here.

I pack and unpack, clean and destroy things,

remaining silent no matter the occasion.

Don't you think we were closer?

Author's Note

01.29.2018