I Have Flashbacks.

His face is enough to tear me apart.

How could someone be so cruel?

He Knew what he was doing,

just like the one before him;

and when I thought I was okay with loneliness,

I let him in, I let him so close, so damn close;

Suddenly, I watched it fall apart, easy prey.

Four days and I'm left with brand new scars.

Slow my mind so You understand, I beg you, please.

This lies on the edge of my relentless pain,

twisted in my veins where his toxins lie.

Save me from the hell I allowed,

where bruises and numb hands became the normal.

Save me from the glassy eyes, shot by the drugs,

widend by the liquior; the agony in my mind.

I hate him so, and I am left in the floor to beg

at your mercy, your feet, I kiss, I kiss.

But your hand I keep slapping away.

Shame on me! Shame on my ignorance!

I look at you, and deserve no acknowledgement.

Why do you see me so?

Eyes from angels, your heart pleads in them.

I cannot break from it all, this struggle,

to see the lines in emotion and logic.

Murderer, he stole my lifeline.

Now, here you stand and I am a coward.

I want you as you are.

Do not let my past and I destroy you as it does me...

Author's Note

06.09.2014