Down The Rabbit Hole

Here I lay
Unable to sleep
With just my thoughts
To keep me company
Or maybe to torment me
I think of where I was
And who I used to be
The friends I had
And jump forward to now
From each past moment
To who I am
Where I am
And the people I have
Around me
And when.

Now I wonder if I ever truly
Even had friends
How could I mess things up so badly
Did I?
Did we just grow apart?
How could I grow apart from so many people?
Am I lonely now?
I didn't think so.
But when I ask myself who my friends are
Only two names come to mind
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe I don't try.
Perhaps my voice is bothersome
Or I could just be a bore.

I never really needed people
I've always been closed off.
Some nights
As I tumble down the rabbit hole
With only my thoughts
I wonder how different
I could be
if I was more social

Reviews

[C. Lee Battaglia]

With only my thoughts
I wonder how different
I could be
if I was more social"

I could feel what was written here. It was so deep and heartfelt.
I struggle with anxiety and depression and it sucks. and it is very hard for me to be social. I'm constantly thinking about what everyone is thinking about me and it just gets turned into this huge mess of confusion. It's something I'll have to deal with my whole life. But where my source of joy comes from is writing. It helps me understand who I am and what I go through. These words are very real feelings that are very common in todays world. You are an extremely talented writer/author and I just want to let you know that, whenever you are going through something difficult or it just seems to much, just write! It will help you and others around you.
Your writing is incredible and keep up the incredible work!
If you want to, could you read my story, "the blonde girl," you don't have to if you don't want to, I just felt like I should share it with you.

Your friend,

C. Lee Battaglia

[Kasey Miriam]

Thank you so much. I sure will

[UN]

I think that most people feel this way after they leave high school or college, it is really difficult to maintain relationships sometimes. Those who were your true friends will always make time for you! I enjoyed this, relatable.

[Kasey Miriam]

Thank you for reading!

[UN]

No problem, I enjoyed it

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this makes me reflect---i am who i am because of the experiences and people i have known through my life...i treasure them in one way...and at the same time...have reached an age at which i ponder that question..friends? or am i actually just alone with my thoughts...how much do we affect others' lives and how much do they really affect ours?
in the end...we stand alone, or lie alone when it is over.
j.

[Kasey Miriam]

Thank you as always.

[SiobhanC]

This so resonates with me at the moment. I think we have to remember that as life changes, we do too and it's not necessarily a bad thing... I've made it my goal this year to try 100 new things before the year is out - more than one of them involves making new friends, joining new groups and never saying no to an invitation. Still doesn't stop that trip down the rabbit hole some times when it all seems too much.

I don't really know much about writing in a scholarly capacity, but I find your poem easy to read, free flowing and so relatable. Thank you xx

[Kasey Miriam]

Thank you I'm glad it could reach you

[Sami Khalil]

You can count your real friends on one hand. They will be there in the thick or thin. You ask good questions.

[Kasey Miriam]

Thank you so much

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome.