My Love for you

The Poetry describes the heart of a Loving Girl who can't expose her love feelings but can't hide it too .She loves her Beloved more than anything in this world but she is confused if she's right?

If I belong to you I am lost
If I don’t still I am lost
People say i am not myself
Tis is true as thou has transformed me into a different being
People exclaim different stories, stories borne between two of us
I still believe I was at total peace
before I met thou….
But things changed when thou stepped in my life
My mind is growing wilder
Looking for some kind of sympathy and solitude
I can’t understand if I welcomed this wildness or you presented this…..
How pathetic my situation is…..
Whom to shout out my dreadful heart
If I do it I appear as a thief
If I don’t I’ll still be a stealer…. stealing feelings within
I tried to outcry put the people around me became deaf.
Although I laugh, sing and dance but still I don’t find
happiness in anything.
Was i really entitled for this harsh treatment?
Sometimes I ask God and weep for hours…
Real treasures are the time when friends are with you
But when they start appearing as strangers
Start thinking thereon its not they, but you, a stranger
There are few who remain close to your heart
but there are fewer who become your fellows from followers
things are changing with the changing world
Selfishness comes across everything
People try to catch your emotions.
Nevertheless life goes on like the pangs of a swing inconsistently
Sometimes high, sometimes Low…..
Until one day you become a playball for everyone
Even then this trauma of loving someone doesn’t leave us…..
Something inside behold you to remain in this distress
With anxiety, commotion, chaos running over you
you reach to the summit of cowardliness.
Carving a fake smile on your face…..
Leaving everyone believe, you still the same
But whom you are deceiving??
you know it well with every passing minute
The heart is going heavy with mixed feelings
Even in a crowd of thousands loneliness embraces you
Is happiness 2 costly for me???
I literally Knock down my head to find strong answers
Should I give myself a second chance??
A similar voice from deep inside….
No more you ‘jerk’ it will cost you ‘life’
More minutes of wild actions
But who can be bigger than heart…..
And the life goes on with Shades of gray and white…..