The Poor Crow

Love is just love, it can never explained.

O sweetie! You failed to comprehend,

my love for you is so fervid,

you couldn't catch glimpse of my affection,

which seems charming and avid...

 

 

 

if you would reunite with someone else in the future,

your pictures from my walls,

i will have a wild urge to throw..

it will be harder for me to swallow this sense of betrayal,

i would evidently die,

and will become a brusque crow..

 

 

 

afterwards your marriage, i would approach  your home on daily basis,

i am threatening, caw! caw! noise,

i'll make entire day,

""how to get rid of this bloody crow"",

you, couple would only pray..

 

 

 

i'll be the playmate of your kids,

i would sing songs for them in my egregious tone..

i am convinced they won't be really fond of,

but they'll enquire, ""who is this creature, completely unknown"" ?..

 

 

 

your other half will get exasperated,

he'll surely take out his mauser from your gun-locker..

but i will be dismayed on seeing weapon of my adversary,

i'll tease, ""i have wings which do not need any door-knocker""..

 

 

 

since i will be targeted by the sniper, in case i die,

i will question your husband, ""why did you kill me again""..

""you  murdered me, when you married my love""

""even  today  you gave me a similar pain"" !!

 

 

Author's Note

This poem is based on the conversation that had taken place between two young lovers, that how worst the life is going to be for the boy if their bonding could not last for so long. How scary the life would be without his soulmate.
I had been given a task to present this chat in poetic structure in front of you guys. It was not so easy for me as i had to keep it shorter in terms of content. Few of you guys would find it is so funny while some of you would feel that it is a cute one and few will find this piece so emotional. But the moment i finished this, i was literally sympathize with the character that has been portrayed. Your reviews can help him out in finding peace to his soul. I really do not know whether he is alive or not. Read it from core of your heart.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is so imaginative & brilliant! It makes me want to write something in a similar vein . . . I love the idea of following someone you love, someone who rejected you, by shape-shifting into another type of being. Great details to show us the trajectory of this futile love situation, with the crow following his lost love's life & family. I don't see this as funny or sad. It's just a great story of empowerment, as to how we can still be in touch with people we are not in touch with . . . there are other dimensions we can use to be close to someone we can't be near.

[Joey Nizz]

The dialog was great! you have truly perfected a conversation into a great flow of words that created them selves as a poem.

Well done and thanks for sharing!

[Abhishek Asthana]

thanks a lot for your kind words joey... it means a lot... now i am feeling my this attempt was successful up to some extent... thanks so much :)

[Joey Nizz]

Im glad that you feel this way! and now that you do new ideas will come to you.

[Pravir]

Wow. . . it was a very emotional one . . i was fully touched avishek ji.. . . some of the lines i read again and again. .. Kaha se late ho bhai itni creativity . . . u are master at representing out of the box things .. . well fully impressed . . .

[Abhishek Asthana]

what you have said and what you have done, i am fully humbled by that...its a huge compliment for me if you have read it again and again... itna creative nahi hu mai pravir ji... dil me thoda shauk, zindagi mje thoda dard, aur zahen me thode alfaaz hone chahiye,,,itna hi kaafi ho jata hai pravir ji kuch likhne ke liye,,, i am not master, still i am learning... but i am pleased to hear these words from such a great story-teller like you :)

[Pravir]

Haha . . . bhut sahi kaha bhai. . . but yes sme people are gifted with creativity . . u are one of them. . cherish it to the fullest . . ar rahi bat meri to i have just started writing and love to read and write stories . . . but i always checkout ur poems whenver i get time . . u are on the verge of perfection. .
And i m still an amateur. . . but yes i have a lot of intent of improving day day . . . and for that u people are showing lot of support . . . thanx again

[Wajiha Nayeem]

ah....what do i even say??....you write so well...
you write imagining yourself in the situation of others and really that's effective....good work..keep writing..

[Abhishek Asthana]

thank you so much wajiha... this was beyond my comfort level but i thought if biopic can be made on the life of celebrity then a poem can also be written on the struggle faced by common man...
thank you so much for reading :)

[Hope]

I read this as a story in a poem and it is brilliant.
Love lost hurts!
I loved your choice of words and you have a rich Vocabulary!
Really great work:)

[Abhishek Asthana]

that's exactly what i desire... if this poem allows my readers to perceive it as a short story then they would be able to empathize the character... thank you so much neetha... it means a lot :)

[Hope]

Always a pleasure!

[Anjali]

Wow... It's such an amazing poem! Really creative and the imagination used here is just so good! Keep writing!

[Abhishek Asthana]

thank you so much for your kind and visit and words anjali... it means a lot... i am glad you liked it :)

[Anjali]

No problem!

[Mr.Writer]

I agree, if the two people don't unite, it'll be hard for them to move on with life, as they won't forget each other for a while...
An amazing, emotional poem which I really liked!
Expressing different emotions and feelings from a methaphorical situation...
Keep it up :)

[Abhishek Asthana]

Thank you so much if you have found it emotional... someone provoked me to write a story more than a poem but i took it as a challenge because this incident was full of different sensations...
so your appreciation made my day... thanks a ton Shaan :)

[Mr.Writer]

I really felt all this different sensations and feelings Abhishek
No problem and keep it up :)

[Zoya]

Yeah...a bit funny...with a bittersweet ending. You've very well transformed a story into a rhyming poem. Ignoring a few grammar mistakes, this still is a really nice piece and I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!

[Abhishek Asthana]

for the very first time i have got this task to perform... it was insisted by my near one... i have not done it before but somehow i managed to do it... well, thanks for your visit :)

[Zoya]

Well done for a first timer! And you're welcome

[Surya]

hardtimes brother everyone faces but not everyone survives....face them ......
Poem, it's worthy or him to put out his emotions...I liked it..:))

[Abhishek Asthana]

your words means a lot bro since its was a real incident... all i can say, i just do not know why does this happen with true love every time... feeling pity for crow i mean for the guy... thanks a lot for reading

[Surya]

haha, as u said it's true love, that tests and gives us pain...just ask that crow to fly again, it's hard but give it a shot.....It's my plsr..:)

[Abhishek Asthana]

even i do not know where the guy is... has he became a crow after dying ?...if it has happened that it is drastic...

[Priyanshi]

I found this poem as so emotional...
"you murdered me, when you married my love""
""even today you gave me a similar pain"....again, the last lines are my fav... these lines touched me....really loved it.

[Abhishek Asthana]

again you brought a smile to my face when you praised the last line,, haha... i really should work on first-half i guess... this was the very first time i had to be poetic in terms of story-telling... but i penned it down somehow by imagining the pain...
thank you so much for reading :)

[Priyanshi]

And this was really good....always a pleasure, Abhishek

[Najam Us Saher]

The last line was just amazing...even today you give me a similar pain... I liked the way you chose a crow to haunt the person you love...you have managed very well to depict balanced emotions.
I truly enjoyed reading this....Thank you for writing this...

[Abhishek Asthana]

thanks so much najam... your reviews always matters a lot whenever it comes to an emotional write.. but this time, it was based on true incident as that was the way the guy convinced her girlfriend... it was challenging for me as eventually i write what i imagine or analyze but it was the first time i had to narrate a short story in form of poem...

[Najam Us Saher]

You really managed to do that very well....and by observing others and then to write it is really very difficult....no need to mention thanks :)