The Poor Crow

Love is just love, it can never explained.

O sweetie! You failed to comprehend,

my love for you is so fervid,

you couldn't catch glimpse of my affection,

which seems charming and avid...

 

 

 

if you would reunite with someone else in the future,

your pictures from my walls,

i will have a wild urge to throw..

it will be harder for me to swallow this sense of betrayal,

i would evidently die,

and will become a brusque crow..

 

 

 

afterwards your marriage, i would approach  your home on daily basis,

i am threatening, caw! caw! noise,

i'll make entire day,

""how to get rid of this bloody crow"",

you, couple would only pray..

 

 

 

i'll be the playmate of your kids,

i would sing songs for them in my egregious tone..

i am convinced they won't be really fond of,

but they'll enquire, ""who is this creature, completely unknown"" ?..

 

 

 

your other half will get exasperated,

he'll surely take out his mauser from your gun-locker..

but i will be dismayed on seeing weapon of my adversary,

i'll tease, ""i have wings which do not need any door-knocker""..

 

 

 

since i will be targeted by the sniper, in case i die,

i will question your husband, ""why did you kill me again""..

""you  murdered me, when you married my love""

""even  today  you gave me a similar pain"" !!

 

 

Author's Note

This poem is based on the conversation that had taken place between two young lovers, that how worst the life is going to be for the boy if their bonding could not last for so long. How scary the life would be without his soulmate.
I had been given a task to present this chat in poetic structure in front of you guys. It was not so easy for me as i had to keep it shorter in terms of content. Few of you guys would find it is so funny while some of you would feel that it is a cute one and few will find this piece so emotional. But the moment i finished this, i was literally sympathize with the character that has been portrayed. Your reviews can help him out in finding peace to his soul. I really do not know whether he is alive or not. Read it from core of your heart.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is so imaginative & brilliant! It makes me want to write something in a similar vein . . . I love the idea of following someone you love, someone who rejected you, by shape-shifting into another type of being. Great details to show us the trajectory of this futile love situation, with the crow following his lost love's life & family. I don't see this as funny or sad. It's just a great story of empowerment, as to how we can still be in touch with people we are not in touch with . . . there are other dimensions we can use to be close to someone we can't be near.

[Anjali]

Imagination running wild. The background story behind writing this poem is quite interesting. Though the poem is written a bit differently, who doesn't like to read something that doesn't follow the usual rules?

[Abhishek Asthana]

Conversion of short story into a poem can be said here and tried to pen it down with full feel. Thanks for your time. I am glad you liked it.

[Aradhana]

The way u used your element here i.e., crow is just so wise!! Haa of course life without soulmate is breathing without oxygen. I liked the way the 3rd and 4th stanza ..they are literally hilarious! Very nice poem.. liked your creativity!

[Abhishek Asthana]

I am glad you liked it, yeah i wanted to introduce these elements in the mid of the poem so that tragic ending of the poem can be balanced.

[Aradhana]

yeah! it was a good idea indeed!

[Pragati Chaudhary]

That's so remorseful and indeed not at all cute but heartbreaking.
It's speechless. I loved the way you wrote all this!
Love is like that. It's loving until its there and it's all hurting when it leaves.
Problem with Love is its an addiction and the way it leaves!

Ohh! I want to write more but can't!
May you be blessed with all the Love & happiness!
Thankyou!

I am sorry I wanted to give more than 100 rating but eh!!!!! Error!!!!
:D

[Abhishek Asthana]

I am humbled by your words... Thanks for understanding the real aura... really means a lot to me... Thanks a ton !!

[Anushka joshi]

Hey !! I can visualize this poem very clearly....your skills are great ... Keep on ...actually my brother's name is also Abhishek... And I used to call him avi ... I always imagined you as you are my brother Abhishek ...and loved your writings even more

[Abhishek Asthana]

Well my friends often even call me " Abhi " and i am glad that you found few of poems meaningful. Its always pleasing you if somebody appreciate your work. Thanks for reviewing and i hope your brother should be a better writer than me. Hehe

[Anushka joshi]

Hmm thanks avi

[Unspoken poet]

afterwards your marriage, i would approach your home on daily basis,
i am threatening, caw! caw! noise,
i'll make entire day,
""how to get rid of this bloody crow"",
you, couple would only pray..

I TOTALLY LOVED THIS PART, This whole write is utterly amazing, I don't on too much on stories, but this one is really good. Awesome detail and imagery.

[zainul]

Your project was a very amazing one.I like the style of retaliation.It was sweet yet persuasive.
The reaction of the man to the retaliatory action might be another interesting episode.
I congratulate you for accomplishing a very successful project.

[Abhishek Asthana]

Though it was not any official project but i was requested to perform this task and i am really glad that majority of my fellow writer enjoyed my work. Thanks for a read !

[zainul]

You are always welcome!

[Dara]

The never ending story of unrequited love with a twist! The idea that love endures all things and to the point where one would change life forms to stay close to the one they love. The image of the crow was well chosen as they can be loud and persistent which in this case becomes a type of defense. I can imagine what it was like to listen in on the real conversation. Well done!

[Abhishek Asthana]

I am glad you enjoyed the poem... Thanks for your time and review !!

[.]

Quite a stalker-ish crow, in my opinion! I guess they are like that by nature, so one stalking his past lover is not far fetched from normal behaviour. That aside, losing one's love is a trauma all its own. Perhaps a nightingale to sing her songs of love and beauty for her lifetime would have been more romantic. Crows, by definition, are not the most attractive bird, more associated with darkness than with love. I appreciate the read request. :)

[Abhishek Asthana]

I picked crow as I had to present the vindictive character. I had to display the dark romantic character   moreover like a disturbing element... Thanks for the review.

[Chris Shaw]

A little bit of black humour here. Yes, dark under tones, slightly menacing but also romantic in its own way. A case of if you leave me for someone else, I will haunt your life. I very much enjoyed this poem Abhishek. A most entertaining read.

Chris

[Abhishek Asthana]

What a lovely review yet... Its always an honour, if any reader discerns the soul of any poem in one go ... Thank you for reading !!

[Beauty lily]

It was a nice poem depicting the love of a person even after his death and reincarnation that too as a crow . The last lines were the most touching part of the poem ....

[Abhishek Asthana]

I have tried to showcase the inner feelings of the character on a whole through the last half of the poem.... I am glad you liked it,,, Thanks for a read !!