Whirlpool

A vortex wherein someone is unable to get rid of it,,, and now doesn't want to be saved by anyone.

Kis samundar me mai aaj dooba hua hu,
Ab kinara nahi mil raha hai mujhe.


Kis bhanvar me fasa hu pata hi nahi hai,
Laga zanjeeron ne jaise jakra hai mujhe.


Zindagi keh rahi alvida sar jhukakar,
Mil gaya apna agla thikana mujhe.


Khwaaish bhi to nahi thi jeene ki mujhe ab,
Soojha na rukne ka koi bahana mujhe.


Gar idhar se guzarna to muh fer lena,
K rahem kar dega tera deewana mujhe !!..

Reviews

[heartspeaks]

Waah! great work... i am not a good urdu or hindi poet or shayar yet i'll try ...
Doobne ko nikle they aap kinara chodkar,
Saare jahan se ruqh modkar,
par janaab in alfaazo ko chod jaiyega yahin ,
Inhe padkar badey jazbaat nikal jaatey hai zanjeere todkar...

now thats my review for your work...
Keep writing...looking forward for more

[Abhishek Asthana]

that is the best review yet... you wrote some decent lines in my honor, extremely thanks for that,, i am really pleased... but i would like to suggest you one thing,, you should write some hindi pieces as well... you are a good hindi poet.. it has been proved... :)

[heartspeaks]

hahaha.... thank you... i will surely try once

[Anjali]

I feel like this sometimes, now a days. Well, it's really deep, but the pain in this poem makes it special! An incredible poem, indeed!

[Abhishek Asthana]

thanks for understanding the aura of the poem... I am very glad, you liked it.

[Anjali]

No problem!

[Jessica Lima]

HMMM,

English Please lol. I do not speak the language above so though you requested my opinion I can give none.

The body structure looks poem like and the name sounds interesting I guess. ha ha

[Abhishek Asthana]

Haha... I was not aware about it... no issues, hopefully I 'll bring some english pieces out there in upcoming week... well, your guess is absolutely right !!

[Mr.Writer]

Unique and thought provoking...
great job!

[Abhishek Asthana]

thank u... m glad u liked it

[Mr.Writer]

No problem!

[Najam Us Saher]

Waaah....very deep and thoughtful. I really liked this.

[Abhishek Asthana]

Thnku so much...

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome ☺