Prologue

The summer night tasted sweet upon his bare flesh. Moonlight struck at him from the star strewn sky; bathed him in a silver glow. The soft breeze beckoned him teasingly, caressing each molecule of his bone white skin, raising the tiny hairs upon his neck with each stroke. The hill by the woods looked especially inviting, the tufty layers of heather pleasantly euphoric upon the soles of his feet. It had been years, ages, since he'd last been under the cover of darkness. But all the sweetness in the world could not cover up the bitterness that wept from his heart; bitterness that had settled in his soul after decades and centuries of torture and emprisonment. The shadows from the trees cast patterns upon the grass, morphing into dark creatures that soared up from the ground and dissolved under the glare of the full moon.

 

He stood at the foot of the hill, savouring the cool air upon his naked body and the freedom roaring in his chest and quickly bowed down on one knee to thank the gods. He threw out his left wrist and slashed at it swiftly with one sharp nail, then let his blood trickle down to the dewy grass while keeping his gaze upon the holy moon.

 

The fact that he had blood rushing through his viens, keeping him alive, had everything to do with the moon goddess, Selene, the dark princess of the night. Unlike her twin brother, Helios, god of the sun and treachery, Selene fought for her kind and never betrayed the race of the Vampyre. For that was what he was, an immortal, condemed to rule the night and feast upon the living. He knelt like this for a few moments, waiting for his blood to cease dripping and congeal darkly along his wrist.

 

The Vampyre race was an ancient one, older than the dinosaurs and every other living creature ever to inhabit this earth. He led a cursed life, bound to human blood and the moonlight when darkness crept over. He could survive when neither were at his disposal, but the curse kept his cravings alive, drove him to a point of insanity and all self-control escaped from his grasp. He became a ruthless killer, a wild thing, capable of the worst possible acts man could ever encounter. And that was the reason he had been caught and sentenced to an eternity of hell, to suffer with neither the soothing dark nor the sweet blood to satisfy his deepest desires. But those times were over, he had escaped from his wretched prison and now was a time for much deserved revenge.

 

 

Reviews

[Meggan Trockstad]

To be honest for a prologue I think it's a little weak. It's too much information and not enough information at the same time. Of maybe it's not the right kind of information I'm thinking about. It pretty much lays everything out. Maybe if there was a little more about about who the character was rather then what he was it might add a little bit of mystery. A little more length to it might be good if you're planning on publishing it as a novel. The writing itself flows nicely, but I think the context needs a little touching up.

[Layman's Terms]

Ok, I loved the prologue, It took me awhile to get to this review but I have been looking forward to it.
Now on to my critque. I personally think that the line decades and centuries should be turn to decades and decades or centuries and centuries. Secondly I think that the flow is good but deceptively , in other words I think at some point you should switch , specifically the last paragraph , to a personal first person point of view for the character, I would like know to what he wants to do , to leave me with some sort of idea lingering in my head to make me guess, wonder , and ponder. After reading this I was very impressed but found that the end was more of a period than an exclamation point. Nice prologue.

[JRB]

interesting, write

[Kloud_Nine]

Honestly I was taken by your first sentence, I mean, not that I find naked dudes interesting, but I'm sure you know what I mean, right? The overall flow is done well, easily read, and no kinks that I couuld detect. The only thing that I would suggest is probably giving us more info about WHO this guy is, I mean, personally. Unless of course, that's all apart of your strategy, then by all means CONTINUE. I normally don't stories about Vampyres, and goddesses and the whole shebang, but...I think this one just may be different, unique. Now, all you have to do, Kat, is prove it. I believe you will do it well.

[269]

You popped up on my notices, so I thought I'd read something of yours. Nice. I am trying to understand vampires. Write on... charly

[AaronPhobia]

OMG! Vampires!!!!!

ima keep reading as you post the next chapter

[~)Screaming*Angel(~]

Omg As Soon As I Read The First Sentence I Was Like: "AWSOMENESS!!!!" Very Nicely Written!^^ Love The Word Play!^^

[Poetic Injustice]

Entranced am I. =0)

[Lena M. P.]

Very well written. Captures the audience to read more. Moves well. Enticing character. Looking forward to reading more.

[Kristopher]

Incredible! Your opening sentence drew me in right away. Cannot wait to read more