You're a FAKE

Look at me with your striking blue eyes

And tell me all your hot and fancy lies

See if I will believe you this time around

You are just the fake that I had once found

 

Nothing you say strikes at me anymore

You never change, you are simply a bore

So just leave me be, set me free like a bird

And I will forget all your sappy, silly words

 

Reviews

[FRANK]

Awwwww... I know fake people all too well. I also know how it feels to hear lies from a lover. Lies from those that I have once loved seem to linger far too long. Yet, I know that is part of being human. We must all suffer betrayals, and that is, perhaps, the worst part of life. =o(

This poem is well written. You capture that anger and suffering, that accompany being betrayed, quite well. Excellent work!

Frank

[Wicahpi]

Excellent! Short Sweet & very to the Point!!
Good job with this one.

[Laura Sparkle]

Beautifully written! I like the empowerment felt by your words, by finally being able to break free from chains. I loved it!

[absurdist!]

And this, my friends, is the basis of all online relationships. False fronts and pretty lies. It's a darned shame. Good read.

[Li Li]

Some of the rhyme in this seems forced to me. I think you could have put a lot more word play in it to make it a more impacting piece. I was following along in the beginning, then I hit this line:

You are just the fake that I had once found

And the flow seemed to sort of dwindle away.....

Play with words more.... see what anonyms you can find to add more power and structure. I think that if you truly pursue the passion for dialect, you will become an impacting writer.

Bless!

[Christine]

Great poem.

[CLUTZ]

fakeness is a disease, talk to too many fake people you won't know what's real. that's when you catch it. very blunt, i like.

[Kenneth Miles]

I think you have just described most of the male population. I'm a guy and I recognize fakeness when I see it. It makes me sad. At least I'm honest. For example, I believe you have the best damn icon on WritersCafe.org.

(You're a pretty good writer, too. :D)

[Display Name]

there is truly a void of people who can be authentic

[Flow]

Words and actions don't match, it is sometimes difficult to get past a well phrased person who is smooth when he/she speaks but they are also so alluring. Good write~