Sorry isn't good enough

For half my life you held me on a leash

Never let me do what normal girls did

Kept me home on every Saturday night

No matter how long I’d cry and protest

 

Life was never fair to me from the beginning

You were my shadow, my fear at night

Pray, as I did, never seemed to work out

You were always ready to make me stop

 

As the years passed you became more aggressive

Used up your time to break up my hopes

I dreamed of an angel who would rescue my heart

But he was never quick enough, I always gave up

 

You’re my boogeyman, what makes my nightmares come true

You rip up my heart while I beg you to stop

You should be a figure of trust, someone to protect me

But you ruined that relationship, now I’m just disgusted by you

 

Reviews

[WordMaster]

Although I feel the emotion behind the poem,
it lacks rhythm and a few of the lines might be better if shorten

Sometimes when we're trying to express a personal emotion, it's more important to get the feeling out then to care about how the poem turns out � and that's okay.

If the poem is you, that's all it has to be

[unspokenguilt]

I liked this poem. Sometimes i feel caged, but i guess i'm part to blame...you know live safe instead of free.

[Poetic82]

I have a poem called Daddy's little girl that touches on this. How could he touch you change your world, it's not the place for Daddy's girl. Yes, through all the years one may endure, you will some what lose your faith and retreat into hopelesness. The great thing to know is, all that is dark and painful is temporary. There is something to be learned from the darkness and that is that the light last longer than the darkness ever could. Focus on the light, and the darkness disappears with the nightmares. Great poem. And though it did not flow it definately had feeling.

[Jacqueline]

I think that the fact that this poem doesn't have a set rhythm is its rhythm
Very well expressed, for many people to relate to.
Wonderful job.
Jacqueline

[-Aurelia Mirella]

wow.

I absolutly adore this poem! I can relate to it so easily. Although it doesn't exactly "flow", it still gives off a powerful meaning. Again, I think it's a great poem.

-Aurelia Mirella

[The Dark Priest]

I am not good at telling others that their rhythm off and what not (because I never once studied to write, I just do) but what I see here is a girl calling ehr father the thing in the closet we fear. Very well written...

[ganymeder]

Very powerful emotionally, though I agree that the rhythm felt a little off. Nice work!

[Dorchadas]

this is a very passionate and personal poem Kat... the depth and openess with which you express your emotion are a true show of inner strength... use that strength to defy the pain ~smiles~

[Michael]

Hi Kat,

You sure packed a lot of emotion into this one. Really makes me want to ask about the backstory but that would be rude. I do have a question about one line:

"Pray, as I did, never seemed to work out"

Is this line missing something like "it" after "did," ?

[Heartless Breaker]

I get a parent-child relationship vibe. It's good.
Personally, I like poems that rhyme. It throws me off when I read free-verse stuff. [But, that's my problem.]