Knowing a Special Forces Soldier

Brief description of what it feels like to know a Special Forces soldier who died while in service.

For starters, A Holy Spirit and an Angel are the 2 persons (so to speak) that hooked me and Brian up. I was around age 4 and kept having ongoing interactions with an Angel and a Holy Spirit. The Spirit is the one that picked Brian out of the entire roster of Special Forces of the entire world. He was serving in the British Special Air Service or SAS. For the record, the British SAS has gotten as few as 4 men out of 150 that try out at times. That explains the difficulty of becoming British SAS in itself.  Brian was top notch and super nice. He was always laughing, and you could tell it wasn't a fake laugh. He was in good humor all the time. That's how I remember him. I had no idea what the SAS was as a kid, though Brian acted and carried himself differently than most men. It's awesome thinking back that I got to know someone in the SAS. I've read about the SAS and they literally fight FOR small ethnic groups around the world who can't fight for themselves. It was a privilege knowing him. It makes me feel like a really special person, having an SAS trooper fly all the way from Britain just for me. Being a kid, I got to see the other side of him, not the combat side of him. That's the way I can describe it, a privilege and an honor to know him. This is a guy who would put his own life at risk for other people in the world. I've read stories about the SAS, how 9 of them defeated around 200 insurgents in Oman. Oman is a Mideast area. A problematic militant group kept attacking an area, so the SAS built a living quarters there and camped out to deal with the insurgents. They defeated them with minimal losses. The SAS took care of the terrorists who seized the Iranian embassy in Great Britain. They blew a window out of the building and killed all the terrorists except for one. They rescued a British hostage in Afghanistan. They captured 5 terrorist leaders in Afghanistan when they raided one compound. They rescued British army prisoners who were held hostage in Africa. 2 helicopters landed and rapidly deployed the SAS who ran over top of the African rebel militia. Prior to the helicopters landing, a few SAS snipers and/or recon teams sneaked up on the African rebel camp. They relayed information by radio. They were close enough to start shooting the African rebels when the 2 helicopters landed. In Iraq, the SAS went into enemy territory in Land Rovers and on foot. They moved at night and hid during the day. They were locating Iraqi scuds. They were going to cut Saddam's fiber optic cable. They were seen by the Iraqis. One trooper escaped into Syria, 2 were captured, and 4 died.  The last paragraph leads to another side of knowing a Special Forces soldier. Brian (and I) found out he was going to die while in Service. Those greater powers (Spirit/Angel) informed us he was going to die. I was sad and both of us were in tears hugging each other in the street. That was after we sort of even joked about him losing his life before it happened. So one can only wonder what happened. Sometimes the visual of him getting wounded and slamming the ground is very vivid. Did he get part of his head blown off? Was it quick and painless? Did he get mortally wounded and lay there until he bled out? How much pain did he go thru before he succumbed to his wounds. Was it during training? Did he die during training? Did he run out of ammunition and get captured and have his head cut off by those degenerate Mideast Muslim losers? Wait, this is the guy I was so happy to see as a kid. It's the guy I lit up with joy and hauled a*s out the door when I saw him walking down the street. He's the guy I had so much fun with. He's the guy who ultimately made me happy EVERY time he showed up. I was happy every time he visited. His life WAS British SAS, which is train relentlessly for inevitable combat.                     Sometimes (seldom) thinking about it forces all the air out of my lungs from the sad body/mind reaction reaction when you want to cry though you're trying to hold it back when something totally saddening happens which overwhelms your feelings. It's sort of like the saddening feeling of looking at a dead family member in a coffin. So, that's the feelings and what it's like to know a Special Forces soldier. I might never know what happened to him. Of course it's of no concern to anyone else, it's just something down there within myself, sort of like a tiny little pebble buried 300 feet deep in the earth somewhere. I think about Brian's parents being at home, and having some military guys in uniforms show up and inform them their son was killed. Even after they informed his parents how heroic he was, that's still their son, they'll never ever see him again unless he has an open casket funeral. Has to be rough on a set of parents. Was his body even recovered? Was it bad enough where an open casket funeral wasn't an option? Was his body left in a third world country somewhere after something went really wrong? Just some thoughts. Maybe I'm a wuss and too soft. Who cares, I don't.  One last point about how it works for someone such as a British SAS soldier. During these visits, a young woman wound up coming to our house. I don't want to give too much detail, so I'll get to the point. She knew this guy wanted some sex in his life, and she layed down a stipulation for giving him sex. He had to have his a*s beat, or have his a*s kicked. All guys want some sex in their life with a nice looking female. So, I believe Brian went off with a Lt. Col. from the army. When he came back, his face was bruised up from someone or something that hit hit very solid many times. I personally remember being very angry when I saw this, because from what I saw it looked like someone just repeatedly punched him in the face extremely hard. This is what someone like that has to go thru for some sex in their life. The willing female couldn't do it because he was good looking and obviously willing to be the go to guy in a war. Nope, the willing female required him to get the s**t beat out of him. What a b***h. I guess that's how society works. Pretty s****y. Makes me lose faith in humankind. That's how society works though. Someone like him had to have that done for some sex with a woman. Wow. Is that what all women require for a single Special Forces soldier who's willing to sacrifice his own life for others? There was also a nice looking young female we met at an airport. She was working to boarding counter at an airport. I had an Angel with me when Brian and I met her. She told him when she worked and told him he could come see her for some "hookups". She didn't put any stipulations in place such as an a*s beating. She was a nice female, I'm sure Brian had some fun and enjoyable moments with her. He deserved it. So did she. So, for anyone who cares, this SAS soldier who gave his life in an elite branch of the military got some enjoyment and pleasure in life before he died.