The rest of: Another series i am working on

A Story by Blake

Here is the rest of the first chapter

It all started on my fourteenth birthday. I was awoken when I heard a scared voice saying, "can you please help me?" faster than the blink of an eye I was out of my bed and ready for anything. You see, when you live where every day you expect will be the day that people will find out about your secret, you tend to be constantly prepared and become a very light sleeper. This is even more so when that secret will cause people to want to kill you out of fear. So there I was on-guard and ready for anything. As I scanned the room I heard the sound of something breathing outside the window to my room. Confused, but still on-guard, I looked at the window that was on the wall in front me. To my surprise there was a girl balanced precariously on the ledge outside of the window. She looked like she was in her late teens. She had burgundy colored hair and ice blue eyes. After hesitating in shock for a few seconds, I asked, “what can I help you with?” she looked at me and replied,” I need someone to help me escape from the magical beings that live in the Forest of Mysteries.”

“Why are you trying to escape them?”

“I am trying to escape them because they want to kill me just because of my special power.”

I ran over to the window flipped the latch that prevented it from opening, and pulled on the handle which caused it to open like a door on hinges

After a few seconds I registered what she said, then I replied, “Could you please tell me what your special power is? I promise not to harm or turn you in.”

“Ok, I have the ability to turn into any creature I want as long as I have seen it, in person, at least once.” turning around, i made my way to the oak dresser next to my bed. ichair i made made using my opened the top drawer, pulled out a small, purple book. turning so that i was facing my visitor i noticed that she was still standing in front of the window. "Would like to sit?" i asked. "yes please" she replied i opened the book and stated to chant the words that started to appear on the first page, "chair of oak, please ppear your assistance is needed here!"

I like where it's going. You could definitely make a series out of it. I recommend describing where everything is taking place more. For instance in this scene maybe describe more of the room they're in. I'd also refrain from over detailing something like the girls age. ~~Maybe instead of saying she looked seventeen you could say she looked like she was in her late teens or something like that.~~