This is so deep and amazing Victoria! Many do not know you have Asperger's syndrome. This is an intimate look inside of the complex antiquities the minds suffers. The path of one trapped in fear. To hold close that witch if so faithfully there…FEAR. You are amazing and I love everything you write, but this my dear, is amazing because of the twisted deapth held tight within the web of words you spin!
"Fear a constant companion,
Always there when everything else is gone.
Holding me tight,
In an unwanted embrace.
Now with no choice,
mind made up.
I close my eyes,
and kiss fear."
No one may ever know, just how true and deep your words hold true!
I love you and you my dear are my hero!
This captures well those moments of uncertainty... the thoughts that flow through the head, the inner longings... expressed in an embrace of the very emotion that makes us tremble... and shuts us away from ready contact with the world around
Agreed, very deep and emotional. Well written hun. Very well written. Your emotions are displayed in a way that really focuses the reader.. Can't just skim this one. :)
Your poem is so honest about fear. I think everyone has fear about something and its constantly changing. But the core of fear itself remains the same. You've done a good job here. Fear can take control before you even know it.
Your piece reminds me of my own poem about fear called, "Fear is a Fiend." Here's the link if you want to take a look.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/bbrown/956601/
First of all, I thought the word "fear" in the first line is a verb because of the way the line is written. I think it might help to put a comma or the word "is" after the word "fear" if you want it to make it appear as a noun. Another thing is that the words "some ones", I think, should be "someone's". And "there" in the line "so fear is there" should be "here". I hope you don't mind me pointing out these things.
Don't get me wrong because I love this poem. Not only does it hold a great weight, but also does it carry a nicely-presented theme. Solitude, sometimes, should not be feared. The only thing that we should fear is fear itself. I love the way you ended the poem. It showed the making up of the poetic persona's mind to finally accept his/her situation of being alone. (=
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Glad you liked it, nothing taken the wrong way. I took your advice and changed the first two suggest.. read moreGlad you liked it, nothing taken the wrong way. I took your advice and changed the first two suggestions. The third suggestion did not feel right to change, didn't fit for me. Thanks so much for taking the time to read an review.
I think fear is ultimately one of the things that prevents us from reaching our full potentials as people. I think your descriptions of fear as a weight were very accurate. I think your ending leaves us with the notion that maybe the speaker has overcome her fear, and that is a truly liberating element of this poem.
Two years have past, everything amd nothing has changed.
I still struggle and try to find my way through this world that seems so dark. Not really seeing the things around, focused on surviving.
A l.. more..