REVENGE

The story took a life of its own.....

 Strong winds blew that night, a night not meant for children to be running about. Yet, where our story begins is with a very small child doing just that. Her small frame clothed in a thin coat that did little to guard against the chilly air. She appeared unafraid of strolling through the city all alone at night, but she did have something with her. In her tiny hand clutched tightly was a picture, the picture was of a man and a woman. They held great importance to the child since that picture was all she had besides the clothes on her back. 

 Walking without a care down the not so deserted street brought confusion to those who spotted the small girl. They just froze what they had been doing and stared, confounded as to why a child was out so late. On a cold and dangerous night, did she not know what night it was? She should be in bed surrounded in warmth and the safety of a house. Out here she was vulnerable and a target for what would soon be prowling. However, none took a step toward the girl to see if she was lost. All kept their distance and did not attempt to offer the girl aid.

 Well past the last light, sounds of creatures stirring caused many to scatter in fear. So the girl was forgotten and all sought refuge where ever it may be. The girl continued on, walking with no hurry in her step. Yet, there was a determined air about her that told all who paid attention she would not swerve from her path. On and on the girl went in to a unknown destination but it was clear she was going some where she should not go.

 An hour later, with freezing wind nipping at her delicate skin the girl stopped. She as in a area that held a lot of danger for anyone that entered. Hazel eyes peered at an alley way that was at the moment being used. Not frightened by the tall and malignant appearing man that now stared at her in a sinister way, she walked toward him. For just a moment the man looked uncertain as she moved towards him. Why would he not consider a small girl in a dangerous area walking up to and even more dangerous man puzzling. No time to puzzle any thing over as she stopped in front of him, he just wanted her gone. He had business to attend to and a child had no reason to be hanging around here.

 Looking at the man the girl said not one word. Extending her hand she let the man take the picture she held so tightly. Brows scrunching together the man stared at the picture for several minutes, his lips turning down in a frown. Sounds in the distance alerted all a brawl had just begun. By the growls one could easily guess it was between two animals, or something supernatural. 

 Sighing the man scratched his head and looked at the girl, all maliciousness vanishing. Grunting the man turned and started walking off, the girl coughed causing the man to look back. Hand raised out with palm open the girl simply stared. After a moment the man understood and handed her back the picture, she grasped it tighter than ever. Mumbling something beneath his breath the man continued on with the girl on his heels. Once the cover of the alley was behind them the wind whipped at them. Dark hair flew wildly about the girls head but it seemed not to bother her. The man need not worry about such thing since his head was clean shaven.

 Walking three more blocks the man stops before a car, a very expensive looking car. Just like the child the car did not fit in here, taking out car keys the man unlocked the car. With out any hesitation the girl climbed in to the passengers seat, silently thankful for the warmth the car provided. Starting the car the man turned on the heat further making the whole journey worth it for the girl . She had not said one word since beginning her journey but the man sitting next to her driving knew what she sought. The picture was the key,the man just wandered what connection the girl with the two in the photo. 

 Gazing out the window the girl just watched the buildings pass, gradually becoming nicer and more expensive. A small smile formed on her pink lips, the man turned the car off in front of a very nice house. Light from the moon showed a manicured lawn with large rose bushes.The house it self was a sight to behold with great attention to details. Opening the car door the girl got out along with the man, unease crept through the man as he watched the girl. Walking confidently up to the house the girl made not one sound, that was the moment something clicked with the man. 

 So focused on helping her out so he did not have to deal with her he had not realized what he had done. Quickly reaching in to his coat his hand brushed the gun he always carried around when the girl looked back at him. Once hazels eyes now glowed with a deep red, the shade of dried blood. The man became intoxicated by the sight of her eye and for some reason felt the need to do what ever she said. " Leave here and forget what has happened this night." The girl said in a strong voice that held a wisdom the bellied her appearance. For just a few seconds he knew why she had not talked, it would have gave her away. Then he turned away and got in to his car, and drove away and he did forget the girl.

 Returning her gaze to the house the girl frowned, she disliked controlling peoples minds but it had to be done. She thought it was especially important tonight, she walked the remaining steps to the front door. Listening she heard nothing, absolutely nothing from inside the house. Which was odd due to the fact the girl was no ordinary girl and had hearing that excelled any humans. So she figured this house was protected some how, and she had no idea what to expect.

 For the second time in the past few days the girl got nervous, but she willed herself not to feed in to it. Clenching on hand in to a fist she knocked on the intricately carved wooden door she now faced. No sound could be heard but she knew some one was there now,she could feel it. A minute passed before the door swung open, goose bumps formed on along the girls small arms. Standing before her was a man that was nearly three times her height. However, that was not what caused the goose bumps and she knew it. Peering down at her the man sneered,then surprise filled his face. His eyes traveled the girls small face realizing with dread that she looked familiar. he was also very familiar to her, his face immediately recognizable. Permanently etched in to her brain from the many hours of staring at his face from the picture she now held.  He opened his mouth to say something but she did not give him the chance. With swiftness that no human could ever hope to achieve the girl reached out and clamped her hand on the man bare arm. The man went rigid then trembled as large volts of energy coursed through the man's body. He tried to move but his limbs were immobile, in his open mouth something moved. Looking at his mouth the girl saw sharp almost needle like incisors lower in his mouth, his eyes widened in pain. Just a few second longer and the man dropped to the ground, dead.

 The girl glanced at the man with no emotion at all, she then stepped over his corpse. Moving through the house with silent steps, the girl made sure no one else was in the house. After searching the house three times the girl went back out side a cursed softly, the sun was starting to rise. For the first time in so many years tears rolled down the girls' cheeks. Anger rose in her as she stared at the house with hate, one more. There was still one more person that had to pay for their actions the girl thought with self loath. 

 Raising the picture in her hand she then traced the torn edge that had once held her loving sisters image. Betrayal, her sister had never once thought of that as a possibility. Now with her sister's body buried just days ago it fell on her shoulders to seek revenge for her death. So here she was now with only revenge that drove her. Thinking of any thing after killing the last one for their crimes had her head spinning and gave her an urge to vomit. Yet, she yearned to finish what needed done but she had no idea where to go next.

 As the sky brightened with the coming morning she took a deep breath and started walking.

Author's Note

This is my first ever attempt at this perspective (view point). Hope you enjoyed this story, thought i would just write something shorter than a whole novel first. Just to get the feel of things, thank you for taking the time to read this and any review is appreciated.

Reviews

[L. Edward Neale]

Vivid imagery, detail packed and readable. But could do with a little spacing to be reader friendly in this format. This was written in the second person by a narrator narrators voice is knows and can see all. First person would be describing only from a character's singular perspective with the reader only knowing whats going on through the characters eyes or in the characters head. Theres nothing that says you cant shift between narrator and first person as often as you want. This can be helpful for making transitions between plot developments, or highlighting a part of the story that is key in introducing the character. Pretty good for a first shot. I have experience at professional writing, so if you need a hand. Give me a holler! Best wishes.


I have professional writing experience if you need any more tips please feel free to give me a holler.

[Emma Berman]

Does this story go anywhere?

My primary wonder is who the narrator is. The narrator seems to be giving non-objective assesments, so I am assuming it is not you but a character instead.

[Brittany]

This is a great opening. I do hope you continue on this adventure of fantasy.