How Are You?

How will you reply to the greeting, "How are you?" And if you're no okay?

How many times a day is she asked, “How are you?”

I doubt she'd reply with anything new.

It’s one of those things said too often they lose their meaning.

It becomes a routine activity, like tying a shoe.

They don’t really want to know how she's feeling.

It’s all simply a customary greeting.

But what does she do when she doesn’t want to answer the usual one?

When in reality, it’s comfort she's seeking?

Would she run?

Would she tell a lie or two, and then some?

Perhaps she'd tell the truth.

Perhaps she'd say that she's given up--that she's done.

But tell me, would she really say the truth?

To me, that forced smile is enough proof.

She wishes they’d read her mind and give her some comfort.

One look into her eyes and I can tell her worries are through the roof.

And I also know what she will say despite her problems getting rougher.

She'll say this since she'd like to believe that compared to her problems, she is tougher.

She will lie.

Tell herself she doesn’t need their comfort.

So it comes back that one reply.

Even if she wants to cry.

It’ll always, always be: “I’m alright.”

She know they already have enough on their own mind.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

First of all, I'm so glad that you considered barleygirl's suggestions for this poem and I'm astound to see the changes you have made. When I was beginning to write poems about life and inspiration I used to make the same mistakes by directly referring to the reader but later I realized that it only makes the reader feel more sorry rather than feeling understood.

The way our life moves these days I think we hardly care what answer we will get in return of the question "how are you?", everyone is following the tradition of saying "okay", so even before someone responds to our question, we automatically take their answer as "okay", so we hardly hear what lies behind their heart. I think it's great write of understanding.

You have a great heart of understanding and I just hope you use it this way on your poems.

Sincerely
Dhiman

[5hade5layer]

Thank you, Dhiman! I say this to everyone who comments, but I really do appreciate each and every bit of feedback I receive. I am glad you understand where I am coming from, also! (I know she recommended adding a "me" or "I" but I do not feel comfortable including myself in my work in that way, so I used "she/her" hoping it'll work.)

[barleygirl]

This doesn't sound like a poem, it sounds like prose. But that's OK. It takes practice to learn how to say something in a more poetic way. It's like shorthand, not saying every single word it takes to convey each thought.

I think your piece here is very honest. I think honesty is at the core of the best writing. You have something to say & you have a distinct point of view about it. This is important. Many people just write "blah-blah-blah" & they are like the people in your piece here that you describe as just going along with the flow.

Here's the thing about the way you are expressing yourself. If you want to pin the reader up against the wall & make them admit they are acting like ignorant sheep, then this is an OK piece. But most people don't like the feeling of having someone probe their thoughts & try to tell them what they are thinking. This stems from the use of the pronoun "you" . . . it feels like you are accusing the reader of being all these things.

This may be what you are feeling, but if you turn off your audience, then nobody is listening to your message. I think it's better to write something like this in an inclusive way. If you use the pronoun "I" or "we" then you are including yourself in these observations. You are saying we all have this tendency to do these things. It's a more gentle way to say the kinds of things you want to say, which are a little harsh.

To make this more poetic, instead of having it sound like an accusation: "but tell me, would you really say the truth?" . . . another way to do the same thing is to simply describe a person doing what you say everyone is doing. Make this an observation instead of an accusation. This will improve the way it feels to read your point of view.

I am also a blunt person & I have to remember to soften my words when I'm making harsh observations about people, concerning things I don't like very much. You can convey more with honey than with venom.

Thank you for considering my suggestions & good luck with your writing.

[5hade5layer]

Thank you for such a detailed review! Your comments are always helping me improve. I didn't see that this would sound accusing, and will definitely keep that in mind.

[Bleak_Darkness]

As someone who went/goes though a lot of pain that met many temporary people / supposed friends, this poem really resonates with me! I am beginning to appreciate your writing more and more each passing second and I look forward to even more of them! Not only was the rhyming here on point, but the flow and meaning behind the poem was extremely well-done as well!

[5hade5layer]

Thank you so much! This poem also means a lot to me to the point where I debated whether to post it or not, so I really appreciate your respect for it.

[Sapientiam]

This is so true... I have come to realize that I always say that I'm fine, even when I'm in my worst state. Not because I think I'm tough, but because the answer is so routine that answering different seems too hard or meaningless, especially when one is in a hurry. Thanks for sharing this!