5 months

I'm not alone.

This is what i tell myself.

I'm not alone.

I'm not the only one.

Many people have it harder than I do. 

My dad was arrested and my mom has cancer.

But they are both alive. 

They are both close.

They are both still in my life and I am in theirs.

Many people don't have parents.

Many people don't have nice parents.

So when someone looks at me with pity in their eyes, I just ignore them.

I move on with my life.

If not for the sake of me, then for the sake of my parents and my little sister.

I need to be there to take care of my family.

Help my mom remember to take her medication and take care of her when she is in pain.

Help my dad collect evidence for his upcoming trial in a few short months.

But it's hard. 

It's so hard to wake up to absolute silence.

It's so hard having to walk through the empty house getting things done.

It's so hard going to school, going to work, taking the bus.

It's just so hard. 

But this is what I owe them. 

They have given up so much so that I would have a good life.

This is my way of thanking them for that.

But I miss the old days.

I say the old days, but I really mean just 5 months ago.

My dad was arrested a week before christmas of 2018.

My mom was diagnosed with lukemia a few weeks before school lets out for the summer.

I miss having them both around.

When my dad isn't talking with his lawer, he's with my mom.

She needs him, so I don't mind. 

But the house feels so empty with just my sister and I.

My 14 year old sister is to be a freshman next year.

She doesn't have to deal with all this.

I want her to live a normal life.

She's not close to my dad like I am, but she's very close to our mom.

I love my family, and I would do anything for them.

It breaks me to see what 5 months have done to us. 

And I am scared to see what 5 more will bring us.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading.

Reviews

[bigfootprint]

A touching lament, Emily. Sounds like you have been thrown into boot camp for adulthood. Your writing is quick, clear, and well presented. You know your own mind, and that makes you the lead dog of your Iditarod. Greatness has been thrust upon you. The sudden heavy burden has you looking keenly at the broader picture. You will learn quickly that wisdom comes with taking solemn responsibility. You have risen to that challenge. There is another lesson looming. No man is an island, and that loneliness you feel will carry you to a new shore where the level of togetherness will exceed human understanding. So hone your sharpest ideals, and be true to yourself. At some point, you will make someone a fine queen.

[Faust]

Thank you so much for this great review. These are truly wise words :)

[bigfootprint]

Sorry, Noah. I forgot there are old queens in both sexes. You could be somebody's fine queen one day. Not mine, of course.

[Faust]

Sorry about deleting the messages :)