Signed, sealed, delivered.

A love story

It wasn't love at first sight. 

You crept up on me, slow and steady.

But when I look back on us now...

Our love is a whirlwind. 

The day we first met hangs loose in my mind.

But your eyes, your soft brown eyes,

Like pools of honey and sunlight playfully speckling through birch trees.

Almost everything else about that day...

I can't remember. 

I can't remember a time when your gaze wasn't reserved for me. 

When your crystal piercing blue eyes zero in on mine like target practice.

Before my plain old brown eyes became gold,

And I became yours.

Maybe it was too easy from the start. 

Loving you felt familiar.

You told me I was made for you.

Signed, sealed, delivered.

Right at your feet.

And just like that,

Forever became an inevitability.

Conversation saved at the back of my mind.

Forever was a word that rolled off the back of my toungue as easily as 'hello'

Or more often...

'I love you'

I love you.

You tell me I say it to you too much.

But I always thought I didn't tell you enough.

It's like I'm always trying to grasp for more. 

More of your lauphter at the jokes you claim to hate.

Your quiet humming constantly at the back of your throat. 

And your words.

You never seem to run out.

There's always something to be said.

Like you never have enough time or breath to squeeze in all your thoughts.

But love isn't just words.

It's shouting matches

And white-hot anger.

But still managing to lauph about a week later. 

Love is about trying and trying without shame.

Defeat becoming a foreign concept

A concept.

A love so perfect it defies the laws of nature.

We were in a pocket universe.

In a space where rules didn't apply. 

We didn't know any better.

Ignorance is bliss.

But like most things,

it doesn't last.

Perhaps that's how it's meant to be.

For beautiful things to be fleeting and elusive.

I keep replaying our moments in my head.

Relishing every last detail 

Until our memories are nothing more than strengths of images I can't tell belong to me anymore.

I don't remember much of the first time we met.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared I'll forget that feeling in my stumach 

That I had when we took that picture that I still have taped to my wall.

I'm scared Your blue eyes won't be my blue eyes.

That blue will just be blue and no longer will remind me of you.

I'm scared someone else will hate your stupid hat.

Or brush away your curls. 

But I don't want these things myself anymore.

Or don't want them enough, anyway.

I once thought that you were made for me.

Signed, sealed, delivered. 

Maybe we both changed.

Maybe I'm being paranoid.

Your fingertips trace the top of my palm.

The love line you tell me.

You drive me crazy.

But I couldn't imagine anything Better.

It's better this way.

It has to be. 

It was too easy from the start.

And our love was not a familiarity, but a convenience. 

Somehow saying 'I love you' turned into another phrase to attach to the end of 'goodbye.'

So goodbye and I love you.