Life through her eyes

Everyone has a story. Some are not so obvious.

Her eyes have seen too much for a child

She has seen the cruelties of this world, 

But still she walked through life as she always smiled

Those big brown eyes

Are filled with misconceptions and lies

But still she walks on, far and long

Trying to pretend there is nothing wrong

Her journy through life

Has tought her about the painless knife,

Though it may hurt

It is only to teach her to stay alert

Alert of her surroundings

And to protect herself from all the poundings

Those eyes have seen too much that life has to offer in her time

Maybe one day things will be better, without the evils and the crime

Until then, though, she can only hope

To wash away the dirt of this world with enough water and soap.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

At first, I did not notice your rhyming becuz the rhythm is uneven, which leads me to NOT reading this in a cadenced, rhyming way. In the last half of your poem, your rhyming is strong & it takes over as I read. I find myself wanting to prune or add a word here & there to even out your cadence. It's not necessary to write with a regular cadence, I'm just describing how I was searching for the best way to read this poem. As for the message, very powerful! This could describe me as a guarded young girl with big brown eyes & my dad was regularly raping me but nobody knew until much later in life. This is exactly the way people looked at me, wondering why I was stand-offish, wondering what was behind my always-cheerful ways (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Faust]

Thank you for sharing your story with me and for this review and the other reviews. I like how you give me honest feedback. This way I know how to improve my writing in the future.
Thanks a ton:)
-Emily

[BlackPrince]

I guess here you allude to the hidden silent suffering of others, how we may walk among a million folks and still feel alone. Each one certainly has a story to tell.
I guess that is why it is important for all of us to share a genuine smile with others. Even a rich person can be burdened with depressing issues. We can all learn to be compassionate in our daily lives.
So when they say money makes the world go round, now we all realize that, actually, it is love that makes the world go round.

WELL DONE

[Faust]

Thank you for the review. I agree with those wise words. We are too blinded by money to notice the people around us

[7's]

your writings in flow, with rhymes, which are simpler seems better.
believe me that part of your creative writing with novelity of ideas and images and your view and perspective are more powerful, in spite of a simple story, i would love to read this kinda poems of yoirs more..

and isn't it so obvious? like it happens with everyone..